𝑻𝑶 𝑩𝑬 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑫, 𝒋𝒊𝒏𝒙

ii. too tired

8 years around the sun.

——————

I rub at my eyes to try and absolve my tiredness. "Do I really have to? We do this everyday."

"Yes, Y/n. We have to do this."

"But we trained yesterday and my body's still sore." I groan flopping over in my mattress.

The warm and safe environment of my bed is taken away as Sevika rips my blanket from me. The cold and thick air swallows me whole. I whine at Sevika, "please no, I don't want to." I sit up in my bed.

"But, I thought you wanted to be strong?" She mocks me, folding her arms over her chest.

I curl into a ball on my mattress to preserve my body heat. "Nuh, uh!"

"What about that kid, Mace, huh? Didn't he steal your toy. Don't you want to get it back?"

I spread out on my raggedy bed. Just the thought of that kid makes me angry. I was heading home a month ago, when him and his friends teased me and stole my favorite doll. "My toy isn't worth all of this pain." I refer to the throbbing pain, my exhausted muscles feel.

Every fiber in body hurts from our past sparring sessions. Which consists of Sevika just beating me up. The bruises and scratches along my body cover me like art. But, she told me if I wanted Cindy back, then I had l had to do this training with her.

"Yeah, well this shit show is filled with murderers and criminals, so you might as well learn how to fight. Even if you don't want that toy back."

"Can we please just skip for a day?" I grumble.

"No."

"But I-"

Sevika takes hold of my face yanking me forward. "Don't talk back to me. Do you understand? Now be ready in ten, so you can practice your form."

She holds onto my face for another second, so she can meet my eyes. "I-I understand." I mumble.

"Good." She saunters out of my room presumably to go downstairs.

The silence in my room is eerie and palpable. I shrink into myself fighting the urge to bite my lip. I miss Sevika already, but I also hate how mean she is. I rub at my eyes to stop myself from crying, rather than to wake myself up.

I stand up and step off my mattress that rests on the ground. My room is barren, but the city lights at night bring it to life. However, in the morning it just feels cold.

I pick up the sword Sevika gave me. I place the blade softly in my hand and stare at my reflection. But, my features are barely visible with the scratches and dirt on the blade. The ruined appearance, however, doesn't change how it's my most valuable possession.

Sevika gave me the blade a year ago, but I didn't start training with it until two weeks ago. She had said the blade was too big for me, but now she claimed I was at an acceptable height for it. Despite it being half my height.

After all my earlier begging, I begrudgingly tuck the blade into its sheath and swing it over my back. Its heavy weight almost tips me over before I regain my balance.

Sevika and I lived above a brothels. I was unsure what that word meant, and Sevika refused to tell me, but I knew it had something to do with a lot of kissing. I kept my head down as I rushed past the dimly lit rooms that are filled with happy people.

I push my shoulders up to my ears. Doing my best to quiet the weird noises happening around me. I bump into a woman and mutter an apology.

I heave a sigh of relief when I leave the building and open air bathed me. The thick intolerable air is habitual.