She's a stranger now

"It's been 4 years..."

I stare out of the window of the moving train, the sounds of the tracks ringing in my ears. Has it really been 4 years since that heartbreaking event? The event that turned my life into a living hell? However as I asked myself that question, the real and only question I should be asking myself popped into my head. 

Why is she still in my head? Why is she still living in the back of my mind like a damn parasite?

The train slowly screeches to a halt and the doors open. I exit the train, making my way to the escalator when I saw something that me made stop right in my tracks. That dark brown hair color, the unmistakable design of the spectacles, the facial features that I was once captivated with and a smile that beamed brighter than the sun. 

It was her.

I watched as she laughed heartedly with her friends as they descended down the escalator. I was in shock, after not hearing from her for the 4 years... She went to the same school? I rushed down the escalator, pushing past some of the other students and reached the bottom floor. I quickly looked around, trying to find that same dark brown hair, but... She was gone. Just like that.

The next half of my day I was in a daze, the classes and lectures I attended were blurry. All I could think about was her, and how I didn't manage to notice she attended the same institution. 

"Ethan? Mr Ethan?" The lecturers voice pierced my ears. I yelp out a hurried "Yes?", causing half the class to snicker. 

"Do you understand the question I just went through? This will be on the test." 

"Y-Yes sir. No questions on my end sir." I knew that was a lie. I quickly took a picture of the solution and promised myself to study it when I got back home, knowing that I probably won't. 

I stumble out of the lecture hall and looked down at my watch, 11:59 huh? Guess it's time for lunch. I met up with a friend of mine and we headed to the school cafeteria to fill our growling stomachs. Despite having my friend as company, the image of her still festered in the back of my mind. 

We chowed down our food, discussing on the topics that we went through in class today. As we walk down the aisles of the school, it happens again. The dark brown hair that shines in the sunlight stands out from the crowd. My eyes widen, watching as she has a joyful conversation with the boy by her side. In my mind, I so desperately wanted to talk to her, to say even one sentence, to prove that I still loved her. But that time went by, and she walks right past me. noteven noticing me. I turn around to watch as she walks further and further, a sense of regret weighs on my heart. My friend, noticing my unusual behaviour and my attention on her, asks me the question. 

"Do you know her?" 

Hearing that, I wanted to pour everything out right there, my entire past with her, how she shattered my heart that one night, leaving me in absolute darkness for the past few years. However, I decided against it. I came to terms with the fact that, she's gone. She is not the girl I once knew, the girl that I would have sacrificed everything for, the girl that I had dreamt my entire future with, the girl... that was everything. As I watched her laugh, the smile I had once so admired, along with her friend, I chuckled lightly. 

Turning around to face my friend, I say what had to be said.

"No, she's a stranger now."