March 10th
There are three main ways I’ve experienced this manipulation. The first is through people directly speaking to me, undermining my self-esteem. As a child, I was often labeled as crazy or mentally ill by those around me. This instilled a deep-rooted fear of being abnormal and led me to avoid social situations, like taking public transportation.
As I grew older, these attacks became more intense and targeted. Or perhaps I only became aware of them later in life.
People in public places would have conversations seemingly among themselves but clearly intended for me to hear. They'd discuss personal details about my life or use coded language that clearly referred to me, like "liar" or "slut." As a teenager, being called a "slut" was particularly hurtful. But I was so confused about the accusation, wondering when I'd ever done anything to deserve such a label, that I didn't internalize the negativity.
Perhaps it was because I had crushes on multiple people. But that's hardly unusual nowadays. Everyone seems to have multiple romantic interests. (But not me. I can't. If someone shows interest, it's always with malicious intent.) It's just my thoughts, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I call this a form of mind control technology. It's like, "thinking is a crime." Everyone knows my thoughts, feelings, and emotions in real-time. It's as if they've possessed me but still retain their own identities. This makes it incredibly easy for them to antagonize me, because as I said, "thinking is a crime."
YOU ARE READING
This is the real Trueman Show
General Fiction"Nat's Diary: A lifetime of being watched. Every thought, every feeling, laid bare for the world to see. Everybody might know more about me than I do. It's the ultimate Trueman Show."
