Nick & Charlie

home

Nick

I'm finally back home after 2 days waiting for my husband to wake up. Only for him to kick me out.
I sit at the dinning room table chugging vodka straight from the bottle.
My head starts to spin. The warmth overtakes me till I hear Charlie's words again "get out" He's Said that to me so many times when I'm trying to help.
The only mistake is loving him to much. That bustard.
I put my palm on my forehead and let the tears fall.
I almost lost him and in a way I still did.
I don't understand why he keeps pushing me away. He's been so unhappy but he doesn't seem to want to get put of it. It's almost like he likes it.
I don't understand.
Well I guess it's time for bed. I go to sleep alone for thr first time in 8 years.

Later..
It's been 3 weeks since Charlie kicked me out of his hospital room.
No call. No text. I called the hospital 2 weeks ago and they said he discharged. I called all our friends and no one has seen him.
I finally caved and called but it went straight to voicemail.
I don't know if he's dead or Alive. I'm worried, yes, but furious.
How could he do this? After almost dying and crying by his bedside and picking him up from his dark episodes and this is what I get?
No no that's unfair he's just sick.
I filed a missing persons report last week but still have heard nothing.
I keep making Charlie's lunch in the morning in case he comes home but now there's just dozens of moldy sandwiches in our fridge... my fridge.
I have never been this worries and angry. But life goes on

Charlie's POV
I'm sitting on the bed of my motel room. I paid for a month full in cash so Nick can't find me.
I haven't eaten in days in days in days
I've just been sleeping and well...
My brain won't stop buzzing.
I rock my body back and forth and pick at my bandage.
"I should clean it. Clean it clean it clean it. Piece of shit stupid piece of shit." I mumble to myself and cover my mouth. My body trembles as I force myself to shut up.
I wanna talk to that voice again. That one from the hospital.
I kicked Nick out because I thought he was trying to get me to stop being myself by taking my meds. But I can't keep this up much longer. It's so hard sleeping alone. I want my husband. I want my sanity. I wanna be okay again.
But how can I face him now. Scaring him like that and being so mean. All for what? To starve myself and do everything 3 fucking times to avoid feeling like my heart will explode. I'm so fucking stupid. It was just a OCD fever dream and I believed that damn thing.
"Stupid piece of shit. Stupid piece of shit. Stupid piece of shit"
God this nightmare won't end.
But I suddenly know what will make me feel better.

NICKS POV
I'm asleep in bed when suddenly I hear three violent knocks at the door.
I look at the clock. 3am. Who in God's name is here this late?
Wait..
I run to the door in nothing but my plaid boxers.
I swing open the door and indeed standing at the door is Charlie.
Only his eyes are glazed over and his face us flushed. He's so pale and amesiated. He must have lost 50 pounds. He lifts his hand to my cheek. I see the outline of his bones all the way down his arm. He pulls me in and kisses me sloppily. The smell of Gin fills my mouth.
He puts his hand on my crotch.
I grab him by his shoulders and push him an arms length away.
"Let's do it" he says and tries to grab me again. I guide him inside and shut the door. He keeps reaching for me but each time I pull away.
"Come onnnn" he whines
It takes everything to keep my voice calm. "Charlie. You disappear for 2 weeks and now you show up in the middle of the night to fuck me when your drunk?"
He mumbles something and covers his mouth.
"Sit down"
To my surprise he actually sits at the dinning room table.
He keeps his mouth covered and beginnings to shake.
I kneel down next to him. He suddenly springs into my arms so that I'm holding all his weight but God he's so frail.
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I didn't think it would get this bad this bad this--" he covers his mouth but still mumbles the same words over and over.
"Charlie. I'm here. I'll always be here for you"