A perfect fit

TOW the ultrasound

(Week 12 of pregnancy)

Rachel had moved out of Joey's apartment without his help. Not that he wouldn't have helped, but she hadn't asked. Ross had told her what Joey's reaction had been to hearing she would move in with him, and she couldn't blame him. She tried to picture her reaction if Ross had informed her that Chloe was moving in with him. There was no way she would've thought that it might be only two friends living together. But as it was, it seemed to be her only option. Phoebe had just one bedroom, she couldn't live with Monica because Chandler hated her now, and she didn't have the strength to look for and decorate a new apartment.

For a while she had contemplated just staying at Joey's, but that wasn't a good idea at all. It would be like taking advantage of a generous offer. Besides, staying in the apartment without him was like an especially cruel kind of emotional torture. So four days after they had ended their relationship, she had packed all her things and moved in with Ross. She told Monica over the phone that Joey could now go back to his apartment.

She hadn't seen Joey since the day he told her it was over, and she was grateful for that. The day after the breakup she went to her doctor and had the pregnancy confirmed. The doctor even showed her the baby on the ultrasound, nothing more than a bundle of tissue with a beating heart. Everything seemed to be okay and the doctor had told her to come back four weeks later.

"At the twelfth week the baby is already going to look like a human being. You might want to bring the father."

Three hours after that she had eventually managed to stop crying. She had no idea how to approach him about that. Of course he had said he wanted to be involved and she believed him, but going to him, talking to him, knowing he hated her for what she had done... it seemed like an impossible task.

Her first opportunity to say something came a week after she had moved out. She was at the coffeehouse with Phoebe and Monica, looking through the brochures she had gotten from her doctor and the pregnancy books Phoebe had brought.

"Rach, if you have any questions about pregnancy and giving birth, you can ask me. If you wanna know stuff about taking care of a baby, well, I guess in that case you have to read the books."

"Thanks Pheebs," she had smiled warily. Sometimes she had the impression her friends were happier about her being pregnant than she was. Some of the brochures fluttered to the ground and she dove after them. When she came back up, everyone was suddenly silent.

"Wha... " she started to ask when she saw the reason of the awkward silence standing at the little table, gaping at her.

She wanted to say something, at least a 'Hi' would've been an accomplishment in the situation, but her throat just closed in on itself. Her heart made a painful lurch and her stomach clenched, letting her fear she might be sick. The stupid thing was, if they were giving each other the silent treatment, one of them should just have left, but neither of them seemed capable of doing so. In some totally screwed up way it felt so good to see him again, to know he hadn't completely vanished out of her life.

Phoebe finally defused the awkward situation. "Guys, as fascinating as it is to see you staring at each other, it gets old very fast. So Joey, sit down, and Rachel... you too."

Joey slowly sat down on one of the chairs and Rachel settled back on the couch. Once she had broken eye contact with him, she couldn't bring herself to look up at him again although she could still feel his gaze drilling into her. She took all the books and brochures and stuffed them back into the bag and stood up.

"I've got to go, see you, guys," she mumbled before running out of the coffeehouse.

Phoebe caught up with her two blocks later. "Rachel, do you even know where you want to go? Because this street leads neither to your apartment nor to anywhere... actually. So what is it?"