My Rock Star

Your body remembers.

I am just here to inform you, that I will be placing warnings before explicit content as in;

Self harm ⚠
Suicide ⚠
Depression ⚠
Drugs ⚠

And obviously there will be swearing.
The reasons I am going to put warnings before these things is because I learned that people have triggers. As in they have trama from these things and would like warnings.

This is also based on a true story. Its one of my friends lives, so please be respectful with comments.

Thank you for reading.

~
I woke up to the blaring sound of my default samsung alarm. Oh joy, it's Monday again, I thought. I groggily sat up in my bed. A yawn escaped from my lips as I stretched my back and arms. As my feet touched the soft carpet, I grabbed my phone and turned off the alarm. My head started to go blurry as I realized I stood up too fast. When my vision cleared, I stumbled over to my dresser. I pulled out my Nike tee-shirt, ripped jean shorts, and Adidas socks. I lay the clothes on my bed and walked over to my shoes. Since it was mid-fall, I picked up my pink platform converse and went to my bathroom to take a glance at my hair situation. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I grabbed my brush and started untangling the rats nest. After, I tried to pull my hair back into a pony-tail, but my hair was too silky so the hairtie fell out. I frowned, and cursed to myself. Instead, I just wettened the brush and brushed through my hair. My hair was a dirty-blond-ish brunette color, and I had platinum blond highlights. My eyes were small, and they were a mix of forest green, and a chocolaty brown. My lips were small too, a rosey pink color. And I had bumpy skin on my arms, and my cheeks. My nose was awfully big though, and I had been given severe Comments on how I'm ugly. Like I get it, I'm unattractive, but at least have some human decency? Obviously I'm a girl. I take hateful comments seriously. I've even thought about getting a nose job. As I snapped out of judging my body, I carefully applied mascara and eyeshadow. Just a glittery one though. I put tinted lotion on my face and walked out of the bathroom. When I was in my room, I stripped back into my bra and underwear, and disposed my dirty pajamas in my dirty clothes basket. I carefully picked my clothes off the bed and started putting them on.

~
As I walked on the pathway leading to the school doors, I pulled my phone out. I opened messages and looked at a photo my friend sent me of her outfit. I texted back.

Bestieeee:
Image
                                                                              Me:
        You look cute in it. Bet your crush will like it 😘

I closed out of the app and turned my phone off. Once I arrived at the doors I pulled it open and walked Inside. Once the warm air hit my face, I straitened my posture and walked up the stairs to hell.

~
When I got to my locker, 803; I put in the combo. 43-22-15. Once my locker was opened I looked at what a mess it was. I straightened up some papers and pulled out my binder. I forgot that I had a sweatshirt in my locker so I folded it and set it on the rack above my notebooks and scrap paper. I pulled out the trash and threw it In a nearby trash can. I grabbed a pencil out of my pencil pouch and stuck it in the pocket of my binder. I opened my orchestra music folder and made sure I had the right music for 5th period. I reached for the top hook of my locker to put up my gym bag and my eyes shifted to my wrist.

Trigger warning; Self harm, and drugs ⚠
I remembered. There were slice-shaped scars on the tender part of my skin. I traced them, then went back to what I was doing deep in thought. I was thinking about what I did before going to school. In my mom's car, there was a carton of nicotine mints. They were cherry flavored. So I took 6 and put one in my mouth, putting the others in a bag in a pocket of my shorts. I had also taken multiple painkillers this morning due to a headache. Not gonna lie, overdosing feels good. Your mind is clouded, your numb and can't feel anything. I call it high time. After grabbing my things, I accidentally slammed my locker and winced at the mirror falling off the door. Quess I'll have to deal with that later. I thought.

Thanks for reading! Have a good day/night!