Mechanical Animals: Resident Evil 4

21

Leon took out his binoculars as they reached the edge of the walkway. He peered over, frowning. "Their defenses are no joke," he said, mostly to himself. He turned his head a little. "Ashley!"

Rose stepped forward at that, squinting to see what he was seeing. Though the binoculars would have cleared things up, she could still see a spot of orange amidst a bunch of white, walking up a long staircase to another building. She glanced over at Leon, feeling proud of him for being so focused after killing a man he used to look up to. She had always respected Leon's ability to focus, to compartmentalize when necessary. But this time, after everything they'd gone through, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more beneath his stoic exterior. She saw the way his jaw clenched as he scanned the horizon, how his hands were a little tighter around the binoculars, as though he was holding himself together just a little too much.

"Leon," she started, her voice gentle but firm. "How are you holding up?"

He didn't look at her at first, just continued to scan the area, his focus unwavering. His eyes flicked over the target, but the tension in his shoulders was unmistakable.

"I'm fine," he muttered, his voice flat. "Just trying to keep our mission on track."

But Rose didn't buy it. Not this time.

"Are you really?" she asked, her voice a little quieter now, and more pointed. She could hear the edge of concern slipping through, but she wasn't about to let it go. Not when he was wearing that mask of calm, the one that said I've got this when they both knew he might not.

Leon sighed and he turned his head just enough to meet her eyes, though his expression was still unreadable. "What's the point in asking, Rose? We're not exactly in a position for therapy right now."

She didn't flinch at his resistance, instead stepping a little closer to him, her gaze unwavering. "I know you, Leon. You're good at putting on that mask, but it doesn't fool me. What happened back there... it's eating at you, isn't it?"

He clenched his fists, looking back out at the orange spot moving up the stairs. "I had to do it. He gave me no choice."

Rose studied him for a moment, her eyes scanning his features, searching for any hint of the man behind the soldier, the humanity that sometimes got buried beneath the weight of their missions.

"I know," she said quietly, her tone softening. "But that doesn't mean it's easy. That's the part you don't always deal with. You just keep moving forward. But you're allowed to feel that, Leon. It's not a weakness."

Leon's gaze remained fixed ahead, but the quiet tremor in his shoulders betrayed him. He was holding something back—he always did. The memories, the trauma, the impossible decisions that haunted him. Rose could almost hear them swirling around in his mind, the doubt and the self-blame. She could feel it in the way he kept his distance from everyone, how he threw himself into the mission and never gave himself a moment to breathe.

"Why do you think I don't feel it?" Leon finally spoke, his voice a little rougher than before. "Why do you think I'm still doing this? I am dealing with it. Every day."

"But are you?" Rose pushed, her voice gentle but unrelenting. "Or are you just burying it? It's okay to admit that it's not just the mission anymore. You're not a robot, Leon. You don't have to shut yourself off from everything."

He tensed at that, finally turning to face her. "I have to shut it off. What do you think this job is, Rose? I can't afford to fall apart every time something goes wrong."

Rose held his gaze, her voice softening. "I get it. I do. But you don't have to do this alone. You never have to."

"And when I'm not alone, I do unspeakable things to the people I care about!" He spits, dropping his binoculars and rounding on her. She retreats a step, her back pressing against the rough wall. He cages her in his arms, placing his palms flat on the wall on either side of her head. "I work better alone, and I don't have to worry about things like that ever happening. I won't have to worry about a friend betraying me."