MY PAST. hyunlix

5.

"So he just hates you for no reason?" Han asks, frowning. It's late afternoon by the time they all get together, and they've decided to hang out at one of the cafes near campus until it's dinnertime. "That's kinda weird."

"He doesn't hate me," Felix says immediately. "He's just not really that friendly. There's nothing wrong with it, I suppose."

"Whose side are you on?" Seungmin laughs, pretending to hit him with one of the spare napkins. "I'm kidding, no taking sides. You've only met him less than a day. Just give him another chance."

"If only he'd give me one," Felix sighs.
"Enough about him. Where do you guys wanna have dinner?"

They end up at one of the Italian restaurants in the area. The exterior's entirely brutalist architecture, contrasted by multicolored light strips that run around the entire structure, clearly another one of those establishments targeted towards the younger population. It's inexpensive and looks to be popular; he won't be surprised if they end up coming here often.

"We'd like a table for four," Han says politely, flashing a grin at the server standing out front, and they follow him into the restaurant to a table, already set, near the window area.
"Hey, Han, is that you?"
The boy turns quickly upon hearing his name, eyes lighting up. "Minho! Hey, it's been a while!"

The four of them happen to be seated next to Minho's table anyway, and they settle down while Han continues chatting. "Yeah! I didn't even know you finally decided to come to this school. You're studying dance too, aren't you?"

"Mhm. You too, right? I remember talking to you about that," Minho says, smiling. "I guess I'll be in the same classes as you again."

Felix tilts his head to look past Han at the boy sitting opposite Minho at the table next to him, somehow a vaguely familiar face.

Then it clicks.

"Hey," he says, waving. "It's you again."
It's Han's roommate, the one they'd met in the morning who was friends with Hyunjin.

Minho notices their exchange and looks over. "You guys are friends too?"

"We've only met once," chan answers.

He continues, "That one's my roommate, though," he says, gesturing towards Han, who looks entirely puzzled.

"The one you told me was passed out on the couch the whole night?" Minho says, laughing.

"I have no idea who that guy is," Hanwhispers into Felix's ear.

"No shit, you were blacked out last night," Gyuvin answers.

"Yup, that'd be the one. He's a music major."

"Why don't we join tables," Minho suggests.

"Let's get to know each other. After all, we're all gonna be in the same school for the next few years."

"Yeah! Nice to meet you guys."

They push their tables together and finally settle down, going around the table to introduce themselves. Felix wonders in passing where Hyunjin is, and realises a moment later he's probably working at the club, given its dinnertime on a weekend, likely one of their busiest shifts.

The dinner goes smoothly; to everyone's credit, they're all friendly people, quick to warm up and mostly extroverts. Seungmin and Minho fill in the gaps between conversations where no one has anything to say, asking around about the classes they're lined up to take this semester and telling funny stories about their time as classmates in middle school, keeping the flow going without much difficulty or first-meeting awkwardness at all.

"Actually, chan, how do you and Minho know each other?" Felix pipes up, scooping up the last spoonful of his pasta. "Were you guys classmates in high school?"

"No, we met at a dance academy," chan answers. "We weren't from the same high school, but since we saw each other a couple of times a week we got close pretty quickly."

"That's how it happened with us too," Han joins in. "Me, seungmin and felix were all classmates. Our class was an arts class, so a lot of us ended up at this university, actually."

"Mine too, actually," chan answers.
"Hyunjin was my classmate in high school, and we both studied music, but he changed his mind when he came here and decided to pursue painting instead." He addresses the second part of his sentence to hyunjin, seeing as he's the only one at the table who knows hyunjin.

"Oh, so that's how you know him..." Felix trails off. There's this strange feeling he gets talking about someone who doesn't seem to like him behind his back, and he searches his mind for something to say to change the conversation topic. "By the way, do you guys know when our stuff will be delivered?"

His clothing and belongings had been packed into a big suitcase that would be sent to the campus along with the others via the express delivery service. They'd been advised to bring a carry-on with anything they would need on the first night, which Felix had packed half an hour before he left the house, as usual.

"Didn't you see the email?" Seungmin says, looking over. "They're coming by tonight.
They're leaving the bags at the lobby of your dorm building and you have to pick it up before tomorrow afternoon or they'll confiscate it or something."

"They're seriously just leaving it there for anyone to take?" Minho laughs. "The honor system around here is crazy."

"We should head back early then," chan suggests. "We'll need time to unpack, anyway.
Orientation starts on Monday, so we've only got one day left."

They finish up the last of their drinks and vacate their table, each going their separate ways. Chan and seungmin go off together since their dorms are all in the vicinity of each other. Han makes sure felix is fine going back alone before disappearing with Minho.

Their baggage is sitting, as promised, in a corner of the lobby, and he wades through a bunch of suitcases before finding his and wheeling it out. It's a bit of a struggle getting it up the stairs, but he's thankful he lives on the second floor; he can't imagine how the people on the top floor must be feeling right now.

The next hour is quiet, systematic work that doesn't take much brainpower; folding sweatpants and shirts, putting jackets up on hangers and piling his sketchbooks on his desk where he has them at home, at the top left corner of the table. His pencils and rulers and assorted building materials are either scattered on the tabletop or in one of the drawers underneath the desk. He's done unpacking by the time it's ten o'clock, which leaves him at an awkward time where it's too early to sleep and too late to really ask anyone to go out.
He's struck by the sudden urge to go to the club and see Hyunjin, which lands himself a barrage of questions from his own sense of self preservation. There's no logical reason why that boy should be on his mind at all.
He's just some guy Felix met a day ago who happens to be his roommate.

But he's on Felix's mind anyway. It's something borne from years and years of bottled-up insecurity, he realises, the inexplicable way he's bothered by every single person who dislikes him. It sends his mind into overdrive, honestly always has as long as he can remember, running through every interaction with them again and again until it's burned into his brain, trying everything possible to understand just why they don't like him.

Sometimes it really sucks to be a people pleaser.

He gives up. Just for tonight he'll let his mind win. Felix pulls his jacket back on and heads back out the door, in the direction of the club.

a/n

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