He looked as if he was going to cry; all he wanted was for you to accept and let him in. What was so wrong in that? He didn't know how much more heartache he could take before he gave up on this.
"I'll wait for you, [name]. As long as it takes.. I'll wait for the day you finally warm up to me, and I promise you, you will never feel so miserable again."
He said with a light smile, but it was obvious that he had a million questions about the situation.
"I'm sorry, Ivan. I really thought I was warming up to you.."
"I thought so too," he chuckled.
"I guess that.. as long as I have him, I will never be able to get along with you. But you know what they say, never say never." You knew you were giving him false hope, you knew that you would never be able to move on from your first love.
"But you don't have him any-" He stopped himself, not wanting to add salt to your wound, even if that's what you've done to his.
"[name], please don't be hung up on him forever, I can't stand seeing you so.. hurt, so miserable.. I just wanted to see you smile. I've never even seen your smile." He pleaded, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.
He was just as shocked as you, he didn't know he was capable of showing any other emotion than his love for you.
He wiped the tears from his eyes, looking at you as he waited for your response, he could stay her all day and would be content; as long as he had you near.
He forced a smile on his face as he was met with your silence once more.
"I see.. I'll.. I'm one call away if you're ready to talk, I'm probably lurking at your pending friend requests, you can find me there."
He walked away, he knows he couldn't compete with Till, a man that he's never even met before.
He often wonders what he was like, as if Mizi's stories weren't already enough—they weren't—he wanted to hear from you, he wanted to hear you talk about how amazing of a person he was just so he could get a conversation, even if it'd hurt like hell.
And that's exactly what he did.
"One time, when he saw me walk by, his friend had to kick him back to reality just because he was staring too much." You laughed, telling Ivan all about your times with Till.
"I'm not even that pretty, I don't know why he was so captivated."
"You're beautiful... cough well, consider thats he already liked you at that time, maybe your presence alone was what made you so captivating... to him. And hey, your silhouette alone would've captured his attention."
Ivan replied with a smile, when he saw you laugh.. Oh God, he was stoked. He understood Till for having this much of a choke hold on you, if he was Till; he would never let you find someone else, he'd make you date his ghost. But since he's not, all he can do is hope that Till wasn't like him and wouldn't do that.
Judging by your stories, Till was a nice guy. He would never keep you away from what makes you happy, the only problem was.. you. You're the only one that's keeping yourself away from pure happiness.
He loved having you as a friend, he loved you. And now that he's seen you smile, he'd be happy to be your friend till the end.
And that's why he invited you to hang out at an arcade.
You both walked around happily, raging everytime you failed at the claw machine, and felt superior everytime you beat a child at one of the games.
It was fun, until suddenly, while you were checking out a claw machine, in the reflection of the glass—you saw till behind you.
You turned around, and there was nothing. You stood there with a disappointed look in your face, stupid. You weren't at the beach, of course you couldn't see him.
"Ivan, it's been nice and all but I have to go."
You said, all hints of warmth in your voice were gone, replaced with nothing but pure urgency and desperation.. but still, masked by a faltering cold facade.
"[name], we've only just got here.. I know doesn't sound like it since we've already done so much.. but it's only been 30 minutes, can't you stay?"
"I can't, goodbye."
And with that, you left. You left him standing there, oblivious to what he's done wrong. He paces back and forth at the arcade, trying to recall all that's happened for the last 30 minutes to see if he's done anything wrong.
Meanwhile, you have arrived at the beach, and you sat in your usual spot, waiting for Till to show up.
And so he did, approaching you with an embrace, and a forehead kiss, followed with a peck on your lips. You smiled, atleast his ghost was solid.
"Ah, there's your beautiful smile.. I haven't seen it in a while my love, are you still blaming yourself?"
You looked down at the sand, but he tilted your head up to look at him.
"I know life has. been rough, but please remember that I don't regret what I did. It was an act of pure instinct.. and maybe, at that moment; I was destined to die."
He wiped away the tears that were dripping down your eyes, in a gentle, soothing way. His eyes softened at the sight of you, you just wanted to go back in time and change everything, but you couldn't, and now you wanna die.
"I'm sorry, Till.. It should've been me- It should've-"
"My dearest, [name], don't say that. You know, if you were to even try and go back in time to change what had happened, I'd prevent you from doing so, every single time."
"My love for you is too strong, and it just grows stronger each day.. you know, I only ever go here when I sense your presence. I don't want to ger reminded of the day I lost my life, but if it meant that I could see you again, then I'll do it. The heavens can realize the mistake they've made for making this too easy for me."
You were speechless, even after death, he was still hitting you with his sweet and caring words, you couldn't believe how kind he was being. You knew he was your boyfriend, but the fact that he treats you as if he was still alive is the best feeling ever.
Because for you, he is still alive.
YOU ARE READING
𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙑𝙀𝙎 𝙏𝘼𝙆𝙀 𝙐𝙎 || ALNST FANFICTION
FanfictionMourning the death of you lover, you visit the ocean that took him from you, it was a beautiful day. Every day at the beach will end up to be beautiful, no matter the amount of despair that took place in it. It reminds you of him, Till. Your one and...