CHAPTER 1: ERIDAN IS DIAGNOSED WITH TERMINAL ILLNESS.

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by R3dRumCitrus

by R3dRumCitrus

The damp autumn air swooshes around as the air usually does when its windy, today you are at your doctors office. Your name is Eridan Ampora, you are a lanky ass fish dude who's a violet-blood. You have been feeling ill recently, like, coughing up phlegm on your deathbed ill. You have serious issues, man. You walk into the hospital, you have an N95 mask on, you have the full "4 weeks away from dying" look! Congratulations! Now that you're in the hospital you walk up to the check-in. Your partner is in the car outside, looking for somewhere to park. The lady at the desk is a burgundy blood, she has long black hair. She looks at you and smiles sweetly, you can immediately tell this lady wants to go home. "heiio there sir, what's your name and do you have an apolntment wlth us today?" she spoke, the 6 cups of coffee she drank earlier audible in the odd excitement you can detect in her tone. You state the basics such as 'my name is eridan ampora and im here to get blood-wwork done' or wwhatevver. She tells you to go take a seat and on your way you get a grub-juice from the vending machine. You sit for 2 hours or so because hospitals take fucking forever. Once a doctor comes out to see you you stand up and follow them.

Nearly 40 minutes later because I am NOT writing all that, what? I'm the narrator, I control your fucking story. You clicked this. Now read, fish boy! READ! Ahem- Where was I- Right.

Nearly 40 minutes later the doctor returns with a bunch of papers. They say you'll have to stay overnight and that you have been diagnosed with sigmatomia, a rare and lethal disease...

"WWHAT?!?! NOOOOO-" you cry out dramatically. The doctor looks at you like you're batshit insane.

"uhhhhm,,, 4nyw4ys you h4ve one week left to live...." He says before leaving you to your own devices.

But little did you know..... the only thing on TV? a feature....

a creature feature........

featuring...? *the* creature........

(also uhmmmm btw sigmatomia is obviously a REAL disease.

1. you start tweaking
3. you have a generational crashout
2. you cant remember what order numbers go in
3. you have a generational crashout
7. you have memory loss and dementia type symtopsm
8. you cant spell correctly
9. lack o f cognitive fucntion
10. you become gay
11. you become an alpha....
1. you start tweaking
2. you
4. c
0. your lungs EXPLODE/?????
1. you are in a life of luxury video
9. you are the monster in the video
10. the two sigmas start copping feels on eachothers gyatts
9/11. they hit the second tower.
-1. 69696969696969696969696969696969969696969696969969696969696969696969
-69. kargyatt vantass oh yes baby.

420 (the late stage gooner cum symtpom only experienced by a true alpha..); FUUUUCK YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PLAPLAPLAPLAPLAPLAPLAPLPALPALAPLAPLAPAL "STOP GOONING IN MY HOUSE!!!!!" "oh ok sorry mymmay.... :("

ok thats it for this chpater :)