The Girl in the Rural Breeze

Star

I woke up to the soft light of the morning spilling through the curtains, my body feeling heavier than usual. The dream I’d had still lingered in my mind—a strange mix of panic and quiet despair. I shook my head, trying to push it away, but it was hard to forget.

Jake. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. His smile, the way he had acted so casually around me during practice, even though I was certain he noticed how out of place I must have seemed. I didn’t know why I kept replaying those moments in my head. Maybe it was just the way he made everything feel a little less complicated for a moment. But I knew better than to let myself get carried away.

I reached for my phone, still half-dazed from sleep, and scrolled through my messages. Michelle had texted me earlier, asking if I was going to watch practice again. I had told her I’d think about it. But as I sat there, the weight of everything pressing down on me, I realized I couldn’t go today. I couldn’t afford to lose focus, especially with what was coming next.

The doctor’s appointment.

I hadn’t even realized until just now that today was the day I had to go back for my check-up. The one I’d been dreading. It wasn’t just the fact that I had to face the reality of my condition. It was the feeling of being trapped in this cycle, knowing that it could all end at any moment.

I sighed and texted Michelle back: “Hey, I won’t be able to make it today. Maybe another time.”

I stared at the screen for a moment, my thumb hovering over the keyboard. Part of me wanted to explain more, to tell her about the weight I was carrying. But I couldn’t. No one needed to know about the fear that gripped me every time I thought about my future.

I placed my phone down and sat up, taking a deep breath. I knew it was for the best. I had to focus on getting through today. Focus on the appointment, on the next step.

But even as I tried to prepare myself, I couldn’t shake the thought of Jake. It was like a flicker in my chest that wouldn’t go away, and I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I couldn’t afford to get close to him. I couldn’t let myself hope for anything beyond the quiet days I spent in my own head.

I sat on the edge of my bed, running my fingers through my hair, staring blankly at the floor. The thought of Jake lingered, refusing to leave me alone. I hadn’t even known him for that long, but there was something about him—something genuine, something warm. And it terrified me.

I shook my head. Why am I even thinking about this? I scolded myself. I didn’t have the time or the energy for these feelings. I had enough on my plate already—appointments, medications, and trying to keep myself together every day. Getting attached to someone would only make it harder when the inevitable happened.

Still, the way he’d smiled at me yesterday during practice... the way his eyes had lit up when he saw me. It made my heart ache in a way I didn’t want to admit.

My phone buzzed on the nightstand, jolting me out of my thoughts. It was another message from Michelle: “Aw, okay. I’ll miss you today! Hope everything’s fine. Let me know if you change your mind. 😊”

I smiled faintly at her message. Michelle had been a whirlwind since we’d met—a force of nature I hadn’t expected to get close to, but somehow, she’d pulled me into her orbit. She didn’t know the full extent of what I was dealing with, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to. I didn’t want pity, didn’t want her to treat me differently.

I got up and grabbed some clothes, knowing I needed to get ready for the appointment. The familiar routine of preparing for these visits was something I’d perfected over the years—layered clothes to stay warm in the cold waiting rooms, a water bottle for the endless hours spent at the clinic, and a book to distract me from the buzzing thoughts in my head.