Love Her, Not Me

Chapter 8: "Cracks in the Armor"

Note:
"AHHH, I KEEP POSTING 5 CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEEEE!?!?"

Warning:
Drama(OFC!!!)
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Chapter 8: "Cracks in the Armor"

Ray didn't sleep that night. Matthew's words played over and over in his mind, refusing to let him rest.

"You don't get to decide how I feel or who I care about. I've always cared about you-more than anyone else."

What did Matthew mean by that? Was it just his way of reassuring Ray as a friend, or was there something deeper behind his words? No matter how hard Ray tried, he couldn't make sense of it.

When the morning sun crept through his curtains, Ray felt exhausted and even more confused. He knew he couldn't keep avoiding Matthew forever, but the thought of facing him made his stomach churn. He hated how vulnerable he felt around Matthew now, like all the walls he'd carefully built over the years were crumbling under Matthew's gaze.

---

At school, the tension was palpable. Ray spotted Matthew by their lockers, his usual smile replaced by a blank, unreadable expression. Claire was nowhere to be seen, which was a small relief, but it also meant there was nothing to distract them from the elephant in the room.

"Hey," Ray said cautiously as he approached.

Matthew glanced at him, then back at his locker. "Hey."

Ray shifted awkwardly. "About last night..."

Matthew closed his locker with a loud clang, turning to face Ray fully. "What about it?"

"I... I just wanted to say I'm sorry," Ray mumbled, his voice barely audible. "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

Matthew sighed, leaning against the lockers. "It's not about the yelling, Ray. It's about what's really going on with you. I've been trying to figure it out, but you keep shutting me out."

"I'm not-" Ray started, but Matthew cut him off with a sharp look.

"You are. And it's frustrating because I know something's wrong, but you won't let me help."

Ray swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest. This was it-the moment he either told Matthew the truth or found another excuse to avoid it.

"I..." Ray hesitated, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "It's complicated."

Matthew's eyes softened. "Then explain it to me. I'll listen. I'll always listen."

Ray opened his mouth to speak, but the words caught in his throat. His mind screamed at him to say it, to just get it over with, but his fear won out in the end.

"I just... don't want to lose you," he said instead, his voice trembling.

Matthew's expression shifted to one concern. "You're not going to lose me, Ray. I promise."

Ray nodded, but the hollow ache in his chest remained.

---

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Ray couldn't focus in class, his thoughts a constant whirl of confusion and self-doubt. By the time lunch rolled around, he was tempted to skip and hide out in the library, but Matthew found him before he could escape.

"Come on," Matthew said, grabbing Ray's arm and pulling him toward the cafeteria. "We're eating together. No arguments."

Ray didn't have the energy to protest, so he let Matthew lead him to their usual table. Claire joined them a few minutes later, chatting animatedly about something Ray couldn't bring himself to care about.

He kept his head down, picking at his food, until Matthew nudged him gently.

"You okay?" Matthew asked, his voice low enough that only Ray could hear.

Ray nodded, forcing a small smile. "Yeah. I'm just tired."

Matthew didn't look convinced, but he let it go, turning his attention back to Claire.

---

After school, Ray headed to the old music room again, hoping to find some peace in the familiar space. He sat at the piano, his fingers brushing the keys but not playing anything.

The door creaked open, and Ray sighed, expecting a teacher or janitor. But when he turned around, he saw Matthew standing there, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"Figured I'd find you here," Matthew said, stepping inside.

Ray frowned. "How?"

Matthew shrugged, leaning against the wall. "I know you, Ray. You always go somewhere quiet when you need to think."

Ray turned back to the piano, his heart racing. "What do you want, Matthew?"

"To talk," Matthew said simply. "No more dodging. No more 'it's complicated.' Just talk to me."

Ray clenched his jaw, his fingers pressing down on the keys hard enough to produce a discordant note.

"I can't," he said finally, his voice breaking.

Matthew walked over, sitting beside him on the bench. "Why not?"

"Because if I do, everything will change," Ray whispered, staring at the keys. "And I don't know if I'm ready for that."

Matthew was silent for a long moment, and Ray braced himself for a response he wasn't sure he could handle.

"Ray," Matthew said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "What if things are already changing?"

Ray turned to look at him, his breath catching in his throat. Matthew's expression was unreadable, his eyes searching Ray's face like he was trying to piece together a puzzle.

Before Ray could say anything, Matthew reached out, his hand brushing against Ray's. The touch was light, hesitant, but it sent a jolt through Ray's entire body.

"Do you trust me?" Matthew asked, his voice steady despite the vulnerability in his eyes.

Ray nodded, unable to speak.

"Then let me in," Matthew said. "Whatever it is, we'll figure it out. Together."

Ray's heart was pounding so hard he thought it might burst. For a moment, he considered pulling away, retreating into the safety of his walls. But as he looked at Matthew, he realized that maybe-just maybe-this was the moment he'd been waiting for.

The moment he'd stop running.

With a deep breath, Ray placed his hand over Matthew's. His voice was barely audible, but it carried every ounce of emotion he'd been holding back.

"Okay," he whispered.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Ray felt a glimmer of hope.

To be continued...