HOMICIPHER

αℓρнαвєт - 𝑀𝑟. 𝑀𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑡𝑒

SFW
A = Affection (are they affectionate and how do they show it?)
This man is the biggest tsundere in this world you will ever find—no, he's not affectionate... most of the time. At least, not in the way that gives you that warm, cozy feeling. Mr. Machete's definition of "affectionate" is saying "You not weak" and helping bandage you up. To gain his affection, you have to earn it. That being said, if you are alone in a room for the night (you two are wanderers, you don't have a base, of course), and you give him puppy eyes, he's powerless to resist tugging you between his legs and holding you in his arms... and of course, falling asleep on your head before you can start a conversation.

B = Best Friend (what does friendship with them look like? How would it start?)
This one is pretty self explanatory—but friendship with Mr. Machete starts with a fight. If you die? You weren't worth his time and... well... you're dead, so does it really matter anyway? If you lose, but put up a good fight, he will still call you weak... but he will have respect for you, and he will clean up your wounds for you. He might even choose to wait in the shadows to make sure everything is okay once you wake up before ditching you. And if you manage to beat him (without killing him, of course)... he'll probably ask you to fight constantly until he finally starts beating you, and then he will call you weak again. He really likes to stroke his own ego. Even inside the friendship, he constantly wants to fight, but there's a willingness in him to help you and hang out with you, even if he won't say it and sometimes doesn't even show it.

C = Cuddles (do they like to cuddle and how do they cuddle if so?)
It's not that he's opposed to cuddling—he just prefers to do other things. However, if you just so happen to be near him when he gets sleepy... he loves being warm, and he loves sleeping. Crawl into his arms and straddle his lap facing him, with your arms wrapped around him, and he won't hesitate to pull you closer, nuzzle into your neck, and keep you cuddled against him all night. When it's time for sleep, cuddling with him is your only option.

D = Domestic (are they settling down? Do they cook and clean?)
Mr. Machete is kind of a free roamer—he doesn't like settling down. If you chose to take things further with him, you'd be constantly moving bases—never staying in one place. He neither cooks nor cleans... sorry love, that's your job. But don't fear, Mr. Machete isn't a total leech of a man (even though his teeth kinda look like it)! You both go hunting for food together, and enjoy some occasional sparring along the way. Playful fighting and banter is you two's love language. While he does eat it raw, he will begrudgingly let you cook it (he complains about it even though he actually likes it better when you cook it) so you two can enjoy it together without you vomiting. Overall, you two are a traveling couple—no need to clean if you just leave whenever it gets dirty!

E =Ending (how would they end a relationship if they had to?)
The only way to end things is if you die. You guys travel together all the time, so it's not like you can leave through the elevator—once he gets attached to you he won't let you leave that way (I have a oneshot for that too~! 😍). If you die, he will likely mope around for quite some time... no one knows how long, since time is relative in his world. I can't say he would be sad, but... he would feel a sense of loneliness. Emptiness. He would feel like you were the one person who really understood him, as much as there was to be understood about him... and now you're gone (oneshot idea again???).

F = Fiance (how committed are they? How quickly would they want to get married?)
This is a loaded question. On one hand, he is extremely loyal, and will always come in clutch when you need his help. However, sometimes he will purposefully run away from you so you don't get the idea that he actually cares about you or anything...
So essentially he is very committed, but he won't show it. Although he acts like a very distant and uncaring guy, in his mind, he's just like a puppy wagging his tail whenever you walk into the room.
That being said, he won't marry you, even if you ask. He will say it is a stupid human tradition, and he will not participate. But you guys act like those best friends who have been married for years, so does it really matter that he won't put a ring on your finger (another oneshot idea hehehe I'm on a roll today)?