Epiphany

Chapter Four

TW: Self-harm

Sanji and Zoro walked out of the medical room together. Most of the crew was outside in the yard, cleaning up after the storm. Nami ran over to them and hit them both on the backside of their heads. "Where were you guys?? We could've used your help!" Zoro rolled his eyes and was about to explain, but Sanji spoke up before him. "I'm so sorry Nami-san, it's my fault. He was helping me."

Nami finally noticed the bandages all around Sanji's neck and face. Her eyebrows furrowed in worry and she reached towards his face. "God, what happened to you???"Sanji stepped back before she could touch him. He smiled warmly as he took his hand and gently pushed Nami's away. "It's nothing, really. Don't worry about me." Nami glanced towards Zoro while raising her eyebrows. Zoro avoided her eyes and just shrugged, "Yeah it was nothing." She looked back and forth between the two of them for a few seconds and sighed in defeat. "Ok. Well, we could still use your help. Cleaning and repairing the ship. Most of the others are outside, Brook is cleaning up in the Men's quarters and Robin's cleaning our room so... Sanji-kun, could you clean up the kitchen? And Zor-"

"I'll clean the kitchen with him." Zoro abruptly interrupted her. Nami looked at him in bewilderment. "What?? Did something happen? Why do you suddenly want to be around him?" "I don't. He'll probably fuck it up. Look at him. I'm doing this purely out of pity." Nami stared at him before smiling. "Ah, ok. Then, sure. You guys go ahead. I'll be out here."

As Nami turned around and started walking away, Sanji quickly grabbed Zoro's arm. "What are you doing? I can do it by myself." Zoro started walking towards the kitchen while Sanji trailed behind him. "Yeah I don't think so. You still seem freaked out," Zoro said. Sanji kicked the back of Zoro's leg, making him stumble over. "I don't need your pity, Zoro. Don't bother helping me, just do something more fucking useful with your time." Before Zoro could fight back, Sanji stormed into the kitchen and slammed the door shut behind him.

The swordsman stood there in silence. He let out a grunt and started to walk back out into the yard. 'He doesn't want my help? I don't care. Screw that shitty cook.' Zoro took a few steps forward before pausing. He backed up and put his ear against the kitchen door. When all he heard was the sound of someone sweeping, he let his shoulders relax. 'Yeah, of course he's fine. Why wouldn't he be? And why do I care if he's fine or not?? I don't! ...Stupid cook.'

.

Sanji was sweeping the floor in the kitchen, trying his best to keep his composure. He regretted how he treated the swordsman. He was only trying to help, afterall. 'Yelling at him like that, even after he helped me earlier? Why am I so fucking stupid? I don't need his help, I'm just bothering him anyway.' Sanji finished sweeping, and put away the broom. He walked behind the counter and looked around. Some plates fell from the shelves and were lying across the floor. He bent down and picked the glass shards up one by one. He was about to pick up the last one when he paused. He stared at the large broken piece of glass. He picked it up.

After Sanji made sure the door was completely shut, he slowly pulled up his sleeves. Multiple burn marks were covering most of his forearms. He pulled up the sleeve even more to reveal his upper arm, which was bare—rid of any self-hatred. Sanji gripped the piece of glass firmly as he pushed it against his skin. Immediately, it began to sting. A small wave of stress seemed to leave his body through the cut. Sanji brought the shard of glass back up and cut himself again, and again, and again.

Eventually, the only thing he could feel was the harsh stinging sensation across his upper arms. He felt better now.

Sanji suddenly heard the door knob start moving. He ripped down his sleeves as fast as he could, and held the shattered glass behind his back.

Nami stuck her head inside. She met eyes with Sanji, then quickly looked around. She pushed the door fully open, and took a few steps inside. "Why isn't Zoro here? Didn't he say that he was going to help you??" Sanji shrugged, "I don't know, and don't care. I don't need his help."