Cocktail Dreams

Chapter 9: Ugh, Those Feels Again

The mid-afternoon sun poured through the windows of Fantasia's living room, creating golden streaks over the hardwood floor. She sat curled up on her cream-colored couch, one leg tucked under her and the other dangling off the edge, toes brushing the floor. Her mug of chamomile tea sat untouched on the coffee table, the liquid now tepid. She'd brewed it hours ago to calm her nerves, but the knot in her stomach hadn't loosened.

The date had been unforgettable, charged with an intensity that felt rare, even for someone as self-assured as Fantasia. The memory of their kiss lingered, gentle and tender, and could've turned her into puddy right where she stood. Fantasia had replayed it a hundred times in her mind, analyzing every detail: the way Taraji's lips softened against hers, how she had held her as if testing the waters of vulnerability. Was it real? Fantasia thought, staring at her ceiling. Or was it just another moment for her, something fleeting?

She grabbed her phone, opened Instagram, and began to scroll, searching for anything to distract herself. Babies, brunch plates, thirst traps—it was the usual parade of curated lives. But then she paused, her thumb hovering over a post from Teyana.

It was a carousel of videos. The first slide featured Teyana holding her phone selfie-style, showing off a perfectly styled patio. Plates of breakfast food gleamed in the sunlight, and laughter echoed in the background.

Fantasia hesitated, her thumb frozen. Teyana's captions were always cheeky, but this one had an edge of playfulness that made her stomach twist:

"Mimosas flowing, bacon crispy, vibes unmatched. Y'all could never. #BrunchQueens #TooMuchSauce"

Her curiosity got the better of her, and she tapped. The first video was innocent enough—a panoramic sweep of the patio, guests chatting and sipping mimosas. Fantasia smiled faintly. She admired Teyana's ability to bring people together, to create joy with the ease of someone hosting their own TV show.

But the second slide changed everything.

The moment Fantasia heard Taraji's laugh—distinct and full-bodied—her heart dropped. She tapped again, and there Taraji was, sitting on a couch in the corner of Teyana's living room.

Fantasia's breath caught.

Victoria was perched next to her, practically draped over her, arms wrapped around Taraji's shoulders. The two of them were laughing so hard that tears glistened in the corners of their eyes.

"Raji, stop acting like that when your friends wanna show you any affection!" Victoria teased, planting a loud, exaggerated kiss on Taraji's cheek.

Taraji squirmed halfheartedly, her face flushed and glowing from laughter—or maybe the mimosas. "Y'all aggravating as hell, bro!" she giggled, her voice laced with mock exasperation.

Before Fantasia could process the scene, Lala entered the frame, her emerald silk robe swishing dramatically. She leaned down and kissed Taraji's other cheek.

"Your mean ass gonna take this love, 'cause your ass needs it!" Lala declared, punctuating her words with another smooch.

Taraji's face turned an even deeper shade of red as she swatted at them both. "Moveeee!" she said, but her wide grin betrayed her enjoyment.

Fantasia watched the video twice, her stomach churning.

Fantasia set her phone down slowly, staring at the blank wall ahead. That knot in her stomach? It wasn't just unease anymore—it was jealousy, sharp and unwelcome. She leaned back into the couch, letting her head fall against the cushions as she exhaled deeply.

It wasn't the first time she'd felt this way; it likely wouldn't be the last. The ugly, twisting sensation wasn't unfamiliar, but it wasn't something she was proud of, either. People always acted like jealousy was a sign of insecurity, a reflection of self-worth—or the lack of it—but Fantasia didn't see it that way. She wasn't insecure. She knew who she was and what she brought to the table. Her jealousy wasn't about thinking she wasn't enough; it was about feeling like her enoughness wasn't valued.