Shift

A sting in my heart

"The love that once filled my stomach with butterflies had pierced my heart like a hornet's sting, leaving me numb."
The changes we went through, the bond we shared in these 2 years felt worthless.

The lights were off. It was winter, 2 a.m., on a chilly January night 2018.
I was lying on my bed, staring at my room's ceiling with a blank expression on my face, my eyes swollen.

I wondered: Is it all over? Where did I go wrong? When did I become so desperate and helpless?
This was the first time in my life I'd been hurt like this. My heart ached, and it felt like something was stucked in my throat. Deep down, I was hoping it all to be just a dream,a nightmare that I wanted so badly to wake up from.

Even though I knew it was over, I was still hoping for a miracle, hoping he would have a change of heart. My heart felt crumbled, broken beyond repair. He left me feeling numbed and confused.

I stopped staring at the ceiling and turn onto my left side, facing the window. I got up and walk over to the curtains, pulling them open to gaze at the moon.

I lost track of time as I stood in silence. After what felt like half an hour, I finally returned to my bed and closed my eyes. As I still had my classes tomorrow in the morning.

As I was born on a full moon evening and that's why I was named Luna. I was my parent's  and maternal side's first child so I was loved and cherished by them. As a little girl, I had always been the center of attention, disciplined and cute, attracting love from everyone around me.
My brother was born a few years after me, and though we fought often, we shared a strong bond. My father, a soldier, was away most of the time, but when he was home, we knew he loved us deeply. My mother, strict but caring, she sacrificed so much to ensure we had a good life.

I was loved by everyone until now, so what I was feeling at that moment was a new feeling for me. 'How did all this happen??'. Lots of unanswered questions, too many thoughts for an 18-year-old to handle.