Unconditional

Blue Amends

In the early morning hours, just before dawn, Thomas stirred awake, blinking against the soft, pale light filtering through the window. The room was quiet and still, but as his eyes adjusted, a wave of disappointment washed over him—Lila was gone. The bed felt cold, and the space beside him was empty.

He groggily sat up, rubbing a hand over his face to shake off the lingering drowsiness. Though his mind was still clouded, the disappointment settled into a deep sense of resignation and sadness. Her absence left a yawning emptiness in his heart that he couldn’t ignore.

His gaze swept across the room, half-hoping to find her there, but it remained vacant, devoid of her warmth. With a sigh, he ran a hand through his tousled hair, regret flooding his thoughts.

He should have held her tighter, should have fought to keep her there. She was the calm in his storm, the soothing balm for his troubled spirit. Instead, he had let her slip away without a struggle.

Thomas understood she had responsibilities that pulled her from him, that she couldn’t stay forever. But in moments like this, all he longed for was to close the door and keep her safe and warm in his embrace.

Falling back onto the bed, he stared at the ceiling, feeling the quiet of the morning turn lonely— a stark contrast to the comfort of her presence. He closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

"Damn it," he muttered, frustration and sorrow edging his voice.

He missed her—her laughter, her touch, the way her gentle presence could chase away the shadows of his past.

As the first rays of sunlight poured through the window, Thomas couldn't help but wonder when he would see her again. At that moment, he swore that the next time they were together, he wouldn’t let her go so easily.

He would hold her close and protect her from the world's chaos. He would share his fears and the nightmares that haunted him in the dark.

And if she still believed in him and loved him despite his struggles, he vowed he would never let her slip away again.

As dawn fully arrived, Thomas hesitated to leave his bed. His thoughts were still filled with memories of her, but he knew he had to move forward. Responsibilities awaited, and he had a business to manage.

He dressed, feeling the weight of his responsibilities bearing down on him. With each button he fastened and every knot he tied, he gradually embraced the role of a leader, fully stepping into the identity of the head of the Peaky Blinders.

He reflected in the mirror, making sure every detail was just right and every crease was sharp. His familiar icy demeanor reemerged, concealing the vulnerability and yearning that still simmered beneath the surface.

His transformation was nearly finished. Almost. But as he adjusted his tie, his eyes caught their reflection in the mirror, and for a brief moment, the facade faltered.

His gaze revealed a hint of loneliness and guilt, betraying the emotions he tried to hide.

He quickly regained his composure, smoothing out his expression. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he spoke in his familiar gruff tone.

"Alright," he muttered, almost as if daring himself to remain strong. "Time to face the day."

*

Thomas entered the stables, the scent of horse manure wafting around him. He approached his horse, gently patting its flank before saddling it up.

Leading the horse outside, he mounted and began his ride toward Garrison Court. As he rode, his mind wandered with memories of Lila, but he pushed those thoughts aside, redirecting his focus to the task ahead.