It is important for every person to have a purpose in their life, because without it you get lost, forget about important things or don't see any sense in your path at all.
Over time, your hope crumbles in your hands and the sun goes out over your head. I try to walk straight on the path that my family chose, but to this day I wonder if I really have a purpose of my own.
I don't care about other people's lives, I don't see the point in meddling with other people. I have no desire to give advice or listen to it from others. In our world, it's hard to find truly sincere support, to hear people's honest opinions without having a nasty residue in your hoarse throat afterwards.
Maybe the whole point is that I simply didn't find such people and soon forgot how to listen to myself.
Marta: Ms. Isa, how are you feeling? - A soft, quiet voice breaks me out of my thoughts. She comes closer and I don't quite understand the reason for her excitement.
Only when I turned my head slightly towards her did I finally feel it. My headache. So strong, like a storm in broad daylight. Had I really been in this state for so long that I stopped reacting?
Isara: Don't worry, I'm a little dizzy. - I try to say this as calmly as possible. Leaning on the table, I stand up to take another pill.
Marta: No, please sit down. Your face is so pale, like a dead person's. - Her movements are sharp, she grabs my arm, holding me. She runs her palm over my forehead. I don't have the strength to object, I fall back into my chair.
She leaves me to go in search of painkillers, and after she finds them, she hands them to me.
Isara: Don't worry so much, I'm used to it. Besides, the weather is terrible today, I can react to changes in climate. - It's true, I have a hard time with sudden temperature changes and the change from bright sun to thunderstorms. It's not always about work or sleep.
Marta: You haven't even had lunch today. - It sounds like a remark and I smile a little for a second. This girl doesn't even think about how often she says something like that to me. Take a pill and I'll get you something to eat.
Isara: I'm not hungry.
Marta: Do you want to pass out? Even if you don't care about your health, think about the reactions of those around you.
The expression on Marta's face... I'm still trying to figure out why she keeps bothering me, but what's even more difficult... Why don't I just kick her out?
Isara: Okay. Bring the food to my bedroom. I need to lie down. - A cold speech that I try to hide my true feelings. After my words, I see how quickly her emotions change.
Marta: Thank you, Ms. Isa. I'll be right down to the kitchen. - She smiles and quickly leaves my office. All that remains after her is the scent of sweet vanilla.
Maybe I myself have stopped understanding what I want and maybe that is why I experience such strange feelings when I see satisfaction in her eyes.
I would not say that I need approval, but the way she gives me her fleeting smile makes me doubt myself. I can't understand what is happening. Why does this make me afraid?
I wash down the pill with water, once again waiting for it to take effect. I close my eyes.
.
.
Cold can be different. Sometimes we feel the cold under our feet when the waves touch us, it doesn't scare us, but on the contrary, inspires us. The cold that we can feel from people brings completely different sensations. Her eyes are always full of sadness and her voice is cutting like steel.
