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a sigh escapes your lips as you scroll through social media. the smell of christmas in the air as you look around the living room of your best friend's pittsburgh home. your eyes landed on the couple across from you. your best friend, paul skenes, and his girlfriend livvy dunne.
you loved him. damn — you fucking loved your best friend. it was so unfair, life hated you. why did you have to fall for paul? why did the universe have to make you do so? why did he have to have a perfect girlfriend too? it was so unfair.
of course, you were happy for paul. seeing him happy with the person he..... loves.. to achieve his dreams. to have a successful career already. but, you wish you were by his side more than a best friend. more than what paul thought, a little "sister". even though the two of you were the same age, he was a couple months older.
and paul always teased you about that. always teasing that he was the "older" and more "mature" one in the friendship. you would always roll your eyes or protest, but deep down you loved it.
the two of you met in kindergarten. when your parents became best friends and well — the two of you became best friends as well. ever since then, the two of you were inseparable. each other's half. telling each other everything. all your dreams, dramas, feelings. crushes and more.
but, you couldn't sense the feeling of the two of you drifting away a little. something shifted in the air. and maybe it was because you were single and he wasn't. maybe it was because paul was busy.. or the sad fact? and probably the truest fact? was that you were now his second option. when that was never the case before.
you didn't mind his girlfriend, at all. she was sweet to you. never said anything bad about you. livvy was the one who invited you. the two of you talk occasionally. when you found out paul was throwing a christmas party and he didn't invite you — instead his girlfriend did. you couldn't lie, it sucked.
you had no clue what you did or said. why was paul drifting away from you? you didn't do anything, that you know of — of course. you always supported him. you were there when he won rookie of the year. you were there at his first professional game. the all-star game and so on. so why was paul treating you like this?
and it felt like paul didn't even want you here either. it was like he was forced to welcome you here. why were things just ao fucking different?
you were still scrolling through your phone. as your e/c scanned the device. maybe you should make up an excuse that you were sick or something. that something came up so you could leave. it wasn't like paul would care anyway.
before you could make your mind up, someone sat down beside you and took your phone from your hands. you looked up, it was paul. all alone as his beautiful eyes were on you.
"hey." paul spoke up, smiling at you.
oh, now he was gonna talk to you?
"hey," you say.
"you good?" paul asked you "you've been on your phone all this time. maybe you should talk more."
your heart started to race at his words. what? now he wants to talk? he had been ignoring you all night. and now that you weren't focusing on the love birds across from you, he was mad?
"you had been ignoring me so." you snap. your words harsh than you expected. maybe it was all the frustrations built up inside.
"what are you talkin' about? you're the one who's been on her phone all night."
"and your the one who hasn't talked to me all night"
paul scoffed at your words. clearly not liking how harsh your tone was with him. what was up with you? why were you being so harsh with him? he had no clue whatsoever.
"whats your problem?" paul asked, his tone raised. "not everything's about you y/n. i have other guests, i can't talk to everyone."
your heart sank at his words. thy hurt more then you wanted to admit. all you wanted was for your best friend to talk to you again. to laugh and to joke around just like old times. to share christmas stories of the past, to reminisce about the memories. yet, he was making you look bad? what?
"what the fuck is your problem?" you asked paul, standing up from the couch.
"you've been an asshole to me for weeks now! and i don't know what i did to you for that to happen. i don't understand why you're ignoring me... but i've had it. for you to treat me like shit for no reason at all is pathetic. and i've had it... i've had it"
paul chuckled "i haven't been treating you like shit y/n. stop being so damn sensitive."
"no, don't do that! don't disregard my feelings..." you state before tears ran down your cheeks. it was getting real now, all the feelings you kept up inside came rushing out. it was like something snapped in you.
"it's like i'm your second option now... it's like you don't care about me anymore... what happened? why am i not enough for you? i've stuck by your side. i was there at all of your games throughout school, and then college and then the minor leagues. and i was there for your first major league game... i was your shoulder to cry on. i was there through the tough times and the good.. and fuck paul! i love you so fucking much!"
"there's red and green everywhere, but i'm so blue. and it's because of you. so if i'm "sensitive" how about we never talk again? i'm done."
you grabbed your phone and keys, before walking out of the door. you had hoped that paul would chase you down. that he would confess his feelings for you. but it never came as you walk out with tears running down your face.
paul had no words to speak, he couldn't find them. he knew he was an asshole to you, he knew that. he fucked everything up with the most important person in his life.
to see you cry, broke him inside.
he ruined your friendship...
and he couldn't do a damn thing about it.
_____________________________________
uh hey?
um sorry for this being very angsty?
should i make a part two?? happy ending?
or keep it like this?
btw i love livvy and paul together. this is just a fan-fiction + i have a crush on paul so let me be ;)
anyway, i'm working on requests and they are still open!
