Never Mine

A heart out of reach

Perhaps there were moments between them that made Anna believe Ethan might like her back-moments she clung to, even as she tried to convince herself otherwise. One, in particular, was etched in her memory.

It was a rainy day, and Anna struggled to cycle with an umbrella in one hand while balancing the handlebars with the other. As she tried to stop the cycle, the umbrella blocked her view, forcing her to fumble awkwardly. Finally, she managed to park and lift the umbrella, and that's when she saw him.

Ethan.

He stood at a distance, his gaze fixed on her. For a moment, everything stilled. The rain drummed softly around them, but all Anna could feel was the weight of his eyes on hers. Neither of them moved. She felt exposed, caught in an unspoken moment that was both thrilling and terrifying. And then, as reality crept back in, she looked away, cheeks burning with embarrassment. When she finally dared to look again, he was gone.

That moment stayed with her, replaying in her mind even as she tried to dismiss it. Days went by, and though she saw him in class, she couldn't bring herself to speak to him. At first, she thought Ethan was like her-an above-average student passionate about his studies. But when exam results were announced, she realized the truth. He wasn't just good; he was among the toppers of the class.

The revelation hit her harder than she expected.

Anna had always been the perfectionist, the star student in school. But here, she felt ordinary-just another face in a sea of brilliance. Ethan, on the other hand, seemed to shine effortlessly.

"He deserves so much more than me," she thought, her insecurities tightening their grip. "Someone who can match his intellect, someone he can share his ideas with and get meaningful suggestions in return. Not just... me. A short, average-looking girl who struggles to keep up in class."

It wasn't jealousy. When his name was called during the announcement, she felt a rush of pride, her heart swelling with admiration. Ethan was kind, smart, and effortlessly brilliant-all the things she admired most. But admiration quickly gave way to fear.

"What will people think?" she wondered. "They'll say I'm using him to get ahead, that I only like him for his grades." The thought of being misunderstood, of her feelings being dismissed as shallow, was unbearable. No one would understand the way her heart had raced the first time she saw him or how much she valued him beyond his accomplishments.

So she made a decision.

Anna began avoiding their frequent eye contact. In class, she chose seats far from him, even though it felt like tearing herself apart. Every smile she withheld, every glance she avoided, was a small heartbreak she inflicted on herself. She convinced herself it was for the best.

But feelings like hers were never easy to ignore.