The weight of secrets

Chapter 4

The silence in Jobe's room was heavy, yet it felt different now—less suffocating, more like the quiet after a storm. Jude sat beside him on the edge of the bed, his arms resting on his knees, staring at the floor. Jobe had always looked up to him, had always seen him as a role model. Now, he felt like the last shred of that had been destroyed.

Jobe shifted slightly, breaking the stillness. "Jude," he began, his voice hoarse. "I'll never stop being sorry for what I did. To you, to us... I don't even know who I was in that moment."

Jude glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. "You were selfish," he said bluntly. "You didn't think about what it would do to me. You didn't think about what it would do to her. You just—" He stopped himself, taking a deep breath. He didn't want to spiral back into the anger that had consumed him for days.

"You're right," Jobe admitted, his voice trembling. "I was selfish. And I hate myself for it. I can't take it back, but I promise I'll spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that I'm not that person."

Jude's jaw tightened. He wanted to believe his brother, but trust wasn't something that could be rebuilt overnight. "I'm not ready to forgive you," he said finally, his voice quieter now. "But I don't want to lose you either. That's the hardest part of all this. You're my brother, and I... I can't just walk away from that."

Jobe felt the tears streaming down his face again, but this time they weren't just from guilt—they were from the sliver of hope Jude's words gave him. "I'll do anything, Jude. Whatever it takes. Just tell me how to fix this."

Jude let out a bitter laugh. "I don't think it's something you can just 'fix,' Jobe. It's going to take time. A lot of it. And space." He paused, meeting his brother's eyes for the first time since the argument. "But maybe that's a start."

The door creaked open softly, and their mother stepped inside, her face a mixture of relief and trepidation. "Is everything okay?" she asked tentatively.

Jude nodded, though his expression was far from resolved. "We're talking," he said simply.

Denise stepped closer, her eyes flicking between her sons. "That's all I wanted," she said with a small, shaky smile. "Jobe, I'm so glad Jude came to see you. I've been so worried about you. You haven't been taking care of yourself."

"I know, Mum," Jobe said, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry. I just... I didn't know how to face any of this."

Denise sat down on the other side of him, wrapping her arm around his shoulders. "You don't have to face it alone," she said softly. "We're a family. We'll get through this together, even if it's hard."

Jobe looked at her, then at Jude, who was still staring at the floor. "I don't deserve that," he said quietly.

"That's not for you to decide," Denise said, her tone firm. "You made a mistake. A big one. But you're still my son, and Jude's still your brother. No matter what happens, we'll figure out a way to move forward."

Jude sighed, leaning back slightly. "Mum's right. You're not going to fix this by sitting in this room, beating yourself up about it. If you want to prove you've changed, you need to get back out there. Start living again. Take responsibility."

Jobe nodded quickly, wiping at his face. "I will. I'll do whatever it takes."

Jude's expression softened slightly, though the pain in his eyes was still evident. "It's going to be a long road, Jobe. Don't think this is over just because we're talking."

"I know," Jobe said. "I don't expect it to be easy. I just... I'm grateful you're even giving me a chance."

The three of them sat there for a moment, the weight of the past few days still lingering but less oppressive now. Denise reached out and squeezed both of their hands.

"Whatever happens," she said softly, "just remember that we're family. And family fights for each other."

Jude nodded slowly, and for the first time in days, he felt the tiniest flicker of hope. It wasn't much, but it was a start. And for now, that was enough.