Prologue

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It was my dad's funeral. You could see the sadness in my brother Jack's eyes. My brother Cal's ability to laugh everything off, frozen in time and out of reach in the ice. 

Then there is my mom. The pain on her face is undisguisable. The worry lines are like canyons on her face, she has bags under her eyes that are red and puffy from crying, and the cavernous grief in her eyes.

Then there's me. Just waiting to slink back into a corner to be left alone. I hear my mom crying every night. I see my mom's disappointment when she gets another call to pick up Jack after one of his many fights at school. I no longer wish that Cal would stop laughing at everything because it wasn't funny that I got a grass stain on my favorite shirt. 

I will never feel my the wind against my face while I stare at my dad's face as he swings me round and round and round. 

Or laugh at his stupid dad jokes.

Or ever hear another I love you from him ever again. 

Because he's gone. He left us.

He left me. His "little bee". His "wonderful little girl".

That's when I hear the screams.

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