𝑆𝐸𝐶𝑅𝐸𝑇𝑆 𝐵𝐸𝑁𝐸𝐴𝑇𝐻 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑆𝑈𝑅𝐹𝐴𝐶𝐸

Four

The gym had started to clear out as the basketball game approached halftime. Ken and Aaliyah sat on the edge of the bleachers near the back of the gym, far enough away from the crowd to feel like they had some privacy but close enough that the distant echoes of cheering and the game announcer filled the quiet pauses in their conversation.

Ken's tray of nachos sat abandoned on the bleacher beside him, mostly empty, a small miracle considering how rarely he could keep food down. He shifted uncomfortably, his hands clasped together tightly as he avoided Aaliyah's gaze. He had said too much already, let his emotions slip too close to the surface, and he wasn't sure how much further he could let himself go without completely breaking down. But something about being near her again, hearing her voice and seeing the gentle way she looked at him, made him feel safe enough to keep talking.

"I... I haven't really been okay since everything happened," Ken admitted finally, his voice low and strained. "I've been going through it, Aaliyah. I mean, you probably know that, but it's been bad."

Aaliyah turned toward him, her expression soft but curious. "What do you mean?" she asked gently.

Ken let out a shaky breath, leaning back slightly as he tried to find the right words. "It's everything. The eating, the throwing up, the weight I've lost. The anger, the dreams..." He trailed off, his hands trembling slightly. "It's like I've been on this downward spiral, and I can't stop."

Aaliyah tilted her head, her brows knitting together in concern. "Dreams?"

Ken hesitated, feeling his face heat up as he debated whether to tell her. It was humiliating, but it had been haunting him ever since it happened, and now that they were talking, it felt like the right time to be honest. He cleared his throat, his voice dropping even lower.

"Last night, I had a dream about you," he said, avoiding her eyes. "It was... intense. Like, really intense."

Aaliyah blinked, her expression unreadable, but she didn't interrupt him.

Ken took a deep breath, the words tumbling out in a rush before he could second-guess himself. "It was... it felt so real. Like we were back together, and you were pregnant again. I could see you, holding your stomach, smiling at me. We were so happy. We were—" He paused, his throat tightening as the memory of the dream resurfaced. "We were making love, Aaliyah. And it felt like... like nothing else mattered. Like all the pain, all the guilt, was gone, and it was just us."

Aaliyah's eyes widened slightly, and Ken noticed the faint blush that crept up her cheeks. He looked down, ashamed, his voice trembling as he continued. "I—I woke up, and... I had an orgasm in my sleep. It was so intense that it scared me, like my body just... reacted to it. And then I realized it wasn't real, and it messed me up, Aaliyah. I couldn't stop thinking about you all day."

The silence that followed was heavy, and Ken braced himself for her to laugh at him, to get angry, to tell him he was disgusting. But instead, Aaliyah reached out and placed a hand on his arm, her touch warm and steady.

"Ken," she said softly, her voice full of emotion. "It's okay."

He looked up at her, his eyes searching hers for any sign of judgment, but all he saw was compassion.

"I've thought about us too," she admitted, her voice trembling slightly. "Not like that, but... I think about what we had. About the baby. About everything we lost. And it's hard, Ken. It's so hard."

Ken swallowed, his throat tight. "I feel like I let you down," he said, his voice cracking. "I couldn't protect you, or our baby. And I'll never forgive myself for that."

Aaliyah shook her head, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Ken, you didn't let me down. You were there for me, even when you were falling apart yourself. You loved me, and you loved our baby. That's all that mattered."