𝒫ℴℯ𝓂𝓈 ᵒʳ ˢᵒ

You don't understand

You don't understand me.

You don't understand the feeling when I can't bring myself to study.

You don't understand the guilt after that.

You don't understand that feeling when I get a bad grade.

You don't understand the disappointment with myself when I get a B (2 for the Germans) in English.

You don't understand the feeling when my stomach drops as my teacher told me I got a D (4 for the Germans) in science.

You don't understand the feeling when it's all for nothing.

You don't understand how it's like to try and laugh off a bad grade.

You don't understand that feeling in my throat as I try to not burst out crying in school.

You don't understand the embarrassment after.

You don't understand the need of good grades.

You don't understand the feeling when it all goes numb.

You don't understand the tears forming in your eyes realizing that nothing got any better.

You don't understand the silent sobs.

You don't understand the feeling when I realize I have to go through it again.

You don't understand the realization that it didn't go away this time either.

You don't understand the feeling when I listen to a conversation but it makes me feel nothing at all.

You don't understand how it's like to say I'm fine everytime because explaining would be harder.

You don't understand the tiredness that's always there.

You don't understand how hard it is to get up in the morning.

You don't understand how hard it is to go to sleep at night.

You don't understand the blank stare until I close my eyes.

You don't understand the lack of joy.

You don't understand the little hope I have that everything will be gone and back to normal next morning.

You don't understand how hard it is to participate in class.

You don't understand the lack of motivation.

You don't understand that wish for distraction.

You don't understand the feeling on my wrist.

You don't understand the guilt after.

You don't understand the satisfaction overpowering the guilt.

You don't understand how hard it got to not to.

You don't understand the feeling on my thighs.

You don't understand the voices in my head.

You don't understand the tears forming in my eyes when I see the number.

You don't understand the disgust when I see my reflection sometimes.

You don't understand the way I listen to music.

You don't understand how much words affect.

You don't understand that I can't stop thinking about those words.

You don't understand the annoyance with myself after I talked too much again.

You don't understand my self doubt.

You don't understand the fear of loosing a friend.

You don't understand the fear of my friends turning their backs on me again.

You don't understand the guilt and the sadness when I see my mothers face expression.

You don't understand the guilt and the sadness when she asks what's wrong.

You don't understand the embarrassment mixing with the guilt when she wants to talk.

You don't understand the frustration when I don't even know what's wrong myself.

You don't understand the feeling when you got distracted and then it all comes back.

You don't understand that one second can ruin my day.

You don't understand the constant sickness even though nothing is wrong.

You don't understand the annoyance gnawing at me.

You don't understand the guilt after I snap at people.

You don't understand the way I feel.

You don't understand the way my mind functions.

You don't understand the affect of your words in my mind.

No, you don't understand me. You don't even want to.

WrittenBy09