The beat of my heart.

Fighting.

Arden " Please love. Open the door. I am sorry okay" . For the fifth time , Mr . Arden called to the lover who currently peacefully lying down with his two children by his side.

Earlier, he just left their room with his bed sheets without saying anything.

Calah " Mommy . Why is daddy calling you so many times. Are you playing hide and seek. I also want to play"  This beautiful angel was very cute, four years old and the daddy's girl.

Caleb glanced at their mother meaningfully and asked.
" Mom. Why are you avoiding Dad. Did he do something bad again?"
The word again shows that this was not the first time their parents are behaving like that.

Caleb was making nine years in the forthcoming month. Regarding this matter, he understood a few things.

He knows that Mom and Dad are definitely fighting again. It has been the new normal for the past three months.
Their Mom was not okay, occasionally when he is alone, he could cry. There was one night when he was feeling thirsty. Instead of calling their Mom, he decided to go to the kitchen to collect water by himself.
The living room was abnormally quite , usually their Mom would be watching TV yet that day there was no one. He didn't think much about it.

While approaching the kitchen, he heard people talking,no, it was more like arguing.
Curiosity took hold of him and he decided to peep throughout a small opening since the door was not fully closed.
Their conversation was not pleasant to listen. He went back to his room quietly on tip toe. That was the first time he learned that something was off between their parents. After then, there was second time, third time.......

Even today, when their Mom came into his room with his duvet and Calah in his arms, he knew instantly that they are at it again  . But why do they have to fight all the time? How could he know it anyway, he was just a kid.

Caleb's father, Arden Catava married his mother Atsu  Thandy fifteen years ago. At that time, they were still living in Hatra.

They met when Arden was nineteen years old and Thandy was fifteen.
It was not love at first sight. A lot of things were involved.

That year Arden was in university dating Thandy' s cousin sister Fayola who was studying in the same high school with him.
On their one year anniversary, Fayola arranged a candlelight dinner in her apartment which she share with Thandy. She invited Arden over, however, in the afternoon she received an emergency call from one of her friends and left.

Thus, when Arden arrived , Thandy was alone. Today Thandy was going for their school drama rehearsal.
In the drama, he was playing two roles. One character needed him to crossdress.  So he borrowed his cousin's dress, wigs,makeup and shoes and wore them. When Arden arrived he was on his way out.

Arden knocked at the door and he went to open. His cousin instructed him to tell Arden to wait for her.

He open the door intending to pass the message to Arden when his lips was captured. He kissed him fiercely leaving him no chance to talk. In the moment he was in a trance, Arden picked him up and took him to Fayola' s bed . Thandy realized that Arden has mistaken him for his cousin, however, there was no way he could speak because shortly his lips was captured again.

He struggled with all his strength, yet Arden could not let him go. His arm strength was too great. Hence, the night ended with them sleeping together.

In the morning, he woke up before Arden intending to sneak away , yet to his surprise, there was pain all over his body especially that spot. There was even blood stains on the sheets. He has been deflowered!

Thandy was startled!

This was the scene that Fayola opened the door to. Her boyfriend lying naked on her bed with her younger cousin in his arms. Hickeys all over their bodies.

She couldn't accept it at all. Her first reaction was to beat up her cousin. Their ruckus woke up Arden. He was also extremely shock!

His explanation was that he was drunk. Therefore, to compensate Thandy he decided to break up with Fayola and date him. But Thandy refused. He insisted that it was a mistake that should be forgotten.  He thought  it was a weakness on his side .

" Forget it?" Arden asked. Thandy looked away.

This meeting was held another day in Fayola's apartment. Arden talked to her at length and she accepted to break up with him .
Since their relationship was yet to mature to an intimate stage, there was nothing to lose . She convinced herself.

Did she really lose nothing? That was not entirely true. She was heart broken and hurt. Arden was her first love and she had a lot of expectations of their relationship. Unfortunately fate played her like a ball.

She was hurt but there was someone who was miserable than her - Thandy !

What happened to him was actually rape .

And she couldn't agree with Thandy that it was a weakness on his side.
" Thandy . Please say something, Arden is talking to you."

She was afraid because if Thandy's parents learn about what happened, Arden could be arrested for rape and she doesn't want that.
But Thandy was underage and everything happened without his consent.

If he accepts  to date Arden, things could be considered settle but he said they should not mind him.

Thandy on the other hand, has thought it through before saying what he said. Arden was from a rich family, even if he somehow report him to the police, in the end he would be release and walk free.
Yet him the victim will have to live with the shame. People may even start pointing fingers at him.
As of now his life was already miserable, why add another trouble to it .

He was powerless!

" Thandy, do you realize what we have done?" Arden was running out of patience.

Thandy stared at him and spoke calmly as if this was something that didn't concern him.
" Sir. I didn't do anything wrong. It's you who mistook me for my cousin. Logically, I'm the one to blame here because if I had enough strength to resist you , you wouldn't have done anything to me. This matter has nothing to do with both of you. Sir don't feel guilty and cousin I am sorry."

" Thandy!" They roared in unison.

He ignored them and continued, " And you don't have to break up . Also Mr. Arden, you don't have to take responsibility. This matter I won't mention it to any soul."

Tears trailed down his cheeks.

" Thandy?" Fayola was not convinced. He has always been like this since his parents passed away. He always carried the blame of everything even the things that weren't his fault.

Why Thandy? Fayola asked him, " Why do you have to blame yourself for something which isn't your fault ?"

Thandy understood what she means but he pretended not  to know anything.

He was taking this matter as if it was nothing. But Arden wasn't , neither Fayola.

Arden tried to explain himself. "Thandy . I am not going to argue with you. I know that I have done a despicable thing but you should know that I was not sober . That was my first time as well.  I had promised myself that I would marry the person whom I meet for my first time. You don't know me and I don't know you but I won't give up . Since we have already come to this, I am not backing down."