-The Untold Chapter-

The First Page...

Interesting how the moments we tend to look back at are the ones we wish to forget.
As I sit here in front of the Christmas tree. Lights flickering red, white, & green shining brightly. Ornaments reflecting beautifully with the twinkling lights.
I can't help but ponder of the what-ifs I've had to live with and will most likely always have to live with for the rest of my life.
Coming off a hard few months. One moment I return to during this harsh cold winter is a moment where my everything relayed on one man. A man who shined as bright as a Christmas light. Addicting and very hard to look away but stare too long and you'll only end up blinded.
Thats what it felt like to be in his world. It felt everlasting, wild, & hectic all at once.
Crazy how one person could change and impact the future of another without ever feeling remorseful.
Staring in the mirror I can still see glimpses of the boy I used to be. The boy who let himself be treated in such a manor that would drive any sane person to run. To run and never look back. It's a lesson I wished I would've known back then.
Suddenly something so wonderstruck became something so vial and ugly.
Under my bed lie all the letters and journal entries I wrote to him. For him. About him.
When my loved ones and close friends would ask about him I would just lie and say foolish white lies that only hurt me at the end. The countless sleepless nights I spent pouring my heart out holding back any noises that would dare wake anyone in the other rooms.
My heart belonged to him. And unfortunately his did not even come close to me.
Whispering sweet lies was his gift. One I would've died to hear once more after all these years. Seamlessly bewildered by his brooding brown eyes and wicked smirk. His laugh was symphony to my ears and his hair was softer than anything I'd ever felt before.
Coming out to catch my breath, the darkness around me as I'm walking down to the park. I'm reminded of those small moments we shared and the trust that was betrayed. I pues the price for a boy who eventually broke my heart by the end.
Then in one wonderful swoop I'm transported back to the very beginning.