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ʚɞ
Welcome to Wonderland
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"now I grow wings and rage. I learn how to kill."
"was I raised without love or simply born unlovable?"
"I will take out a crowbar and pry out the broken pieces of God in me."
"and all of my devotion turns violent."
"I am the shape you made me. filth teaches filth."
ʚɞ
The world ended with a whisper, not a roar—a quiet unraveling, like the fraying edges of a hymn once sung in faith. The apocalypse rippled through the planet, swiftly and sparing almost no survivors.
One of those lucky—if you could even call them that—survivors, lay in the form of little Luella-Mae Abbott.
She wasn't at all a stranger when it came to endurance, even before the apocalypse began. To her, survival wasn't a matter of strength, but of stories: the ones she clung to, the ones she couldn't escape.
She grew up on verses her father recited like bedtime prayers, their words bleeding into her dreams until they stained her marrow. "The Lord is my shepherd"... But what of the sheep that wandered? What of those who fell down rabbit holes instead of staying in the flock?
She'd always fancied herself a bit like Alice— curious, defiant, stepping through doors that weren't meant for her. But this wasn't Wonderland, not anymore. The world beyond the looking glass was charred and crooked, a purgatory where angels folded their wings and wolves wore the faces of men.
Perhaps God was still watching, or perhaps He'd turned away, weary of His creation. But Luella-Mae— half sinner, half saint— soon wouldn't wait for a saviour anymore. After enduring years under the oppressive reign of those tasked with caring for her, and the Lord seemingly turning a blind eye, she'd carve her own path through the madness, chasing fragments of light in a land where even the sun seemed reluctant to rise.
And if she were to fall, she'd fall with grace, just like Alice tumbling down, a prayer on her lips and a spark of rebellion in her eyes.
ʚɞ
Run, Rabbit, Run Playlist;
❀ "I was too young to notice that some kinds of love could be bad" Hard Times | Ethel Cain
❀ "God loves you, but not enough to save you" Sun Bleached Flies | Ethel Cain
❀ "I think I'm burning alive, but nobody sees the fire" Block Me Out | Gracie Abrams
❀ "When I think about it too much I can't breathe" Funeral | Phoebe Bridgers
❀ "Someday I'm gonna be somebody people want" Come Over | Noah Kahan
❀ "I'm still angry at my parents, for what their parents did to them" Growing Sideways | Noah Kahan
❀ "If you need to be mean, be mean to me" I Don't Smoke | Mitski
❀ "Turn up the music so thoughts don't intrude" Graceland Too | Phoebe Bridgers
❀ "Can music save your mortal soul" American Pie | Don McLean
❀ "So I will wait for the next time you want me, like a dog with a bird at your door"
Moon Song | Phoebe Bridgers
❀ "Nothing happened in the way I wanted, every corner of this house is haunted" I Miss You, I'm Sorry | Gracie Abrams
❀ "And its my whole heart, while tried and tested its mine" Which Witch | Florence + The Machine
❀ "I am the face of love's rage" Ptolemaea | Ethel Cain
