Do we lose him? //shoto Todoroki angst//

Something is off

TW

This story includes topics as self harm, voices, suicidal thoughts and actions, eating disorders, abuse, Endevor, self hate, mental  illness. Short, The stuff you guys like :3

Also be prepared for my bad grammar. No mean comments please and if you get triggered by something please leave. 

Requests are welcome :)

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-3 person PoV-

Every day was the same for the UA students. Waking up, going to school, training and then free time, for the whole class it was nothing new. 

Right now it was morning and the classroom began to fill with the first students. Shoto skipped breakfast as usual and was therefore one the first students in the classroom with Sero, Shouji, Tokoyami and Koda. 

The two hair coloured boy  sat on his desk in the back and laid with his head on the table using his arms as a pillow. His eyes were shut but he wasn't sleep, he just rested. From what? No one knows...yet. 

The class room filled more and more and at one point everyone had arrived, obviously. It started to get louder, too loud for shoto's taste tho, but what could he do about it any way? 

A few were gossiping about some stuff. Bakugo was Bakugo and screamed around while Iida and Kirishima tried their best to calm him down but the probably most annoying thing for Shoto was Izuku who was asking him all the time if he was fine and if he wants to talk about something. Don't get me wrong, Shoto has nothing against him but he hated it when people want to know about his problems and personal life. It was his life. 

Izuku was probably one of the first who noticed that Shoto had been acting off but with the time the whole class started to notice that something was wrong with the todoroki kid. He had been sleeping more, he skipped meals and didn't payed much attention in class like he used to at the begin of the year. 

The lesson has stared and not only todoroki was tired, his teacher was too, As always. Everyone was focused on the lesson now and here and there even todoroki and the other introverted kids raised their heads to answer or ask questions. 

The next tow hours felt like years for the sleepy boy and it was hard to focus on what Aizawa was saying. The time had pass cause...time works like that and the first break for the students came closer and closer.

-Shoto Todoroki PoV-

I am tired. 

Before i can even think about sleeping in the break that has come closer i hear Izuku asking me if we could eat lunch together. Sure i could've make an excuse up but thats what i did the last four times, so i decided it would be the best if i just go and get it over to not be that suspicious and who knows, maybe it wont be that bad. I never really go and eat with them, dont get me wrong, the main problem aren't  my friends, it was the food. It makes me wanna throw up and remembers me what a lazy and ugly person i am whenever i look at it or eat it.

As the bell ring to signal that it was now our first break I felt a slightly fear was coming up inside of me. What if i skip eating and they ask me about it? There while be a lot of humans, that's to stressful. Why did i even agree to that? They wouldn't miss me at a-

"Are you coming?" This friendly voice coming from my broccoli hair friend caught me out of my thoughts.To answer his question I  slightly nodded and followed im out the already empty class room in the loud cafeteria. The cafeteria, god how much i hate it here. No matter where you look there is food and loud humans. Disgusting. 

My friend and i sat down on a table in the edge, with Iida, Uraraka and Mineta joining us. They all began to eat and talk about school and mineta was making some dumb comments here and there about how Uraraka was the only girl on the table, while i was just staring at my food. It was cold soba witch i usually eat all the time but...it kinda lost his taste, everything did...

Of course the other notice that I wasn't eating and stared talking about it...how great. "You need to eat. It is very important for the human body to get his energy" Iida started, followed by a nervous stuttering Deku "i-if you want s-something else, i can get you something!". Uraraka and Mineta also needed to comment it and without wanting it, i became the main topic on the table."you okay? You haven't eaten breakfast too, right?" Sayed the worried girl witch was followed by a dumb comment from Mineta that gave me the rest "every super model has an eating disorder, so why not our little Todoroki wonder kid here." 

Eating disorder. 

Eating disorder...

I have no eating disorder, right? I just dont tased everything like i did before and food makes me feel sick but thats not an eating disorder, is it? I mean...how dear I to put myself on the same level as the people who really suffer from this. I am just being ungrateful. 

The table felt silent and i probably could've done so many Things, like  Answering their questions, making lies up, saying how wrong Mineta's comment was but i just ended up with doing one thing. I stood up...and walked away. 

No one followed me and i just walked straight out the cafeteria to the boys bathroom. I didn't though much about what i was doing, i just wanted to get away and clean my head. Entering the toilets i locked my self in one of the Cabins and took my phone out. Not cause i need my phone, no, i need something i hide in the phone or better in the phone case.

I removed the black Phone case and took out a small silver blade. It wasn't that sharp anymore but it did his job and thats all i need right now.

After putting my sleeves up and taking some deep breaths i stared Placing the cold sharp metal on my wrist, beginning  to put a slight pressure on it before i  started cutting in my skin. With each cut i go deeper and deeper and it hurt more and more. A few drops blood began to drip on the floor and at the point where i couldn't feeling the satisfying pain anymore i stoped. 

My arm was obviously bleeding and then i realised, I had nothing here to clean it up! Class would start in ten minutes and the panic came over me. I can't just put my sleeve over it, i was wearing a white shirt under my Blazer, every one would see it and the shirt would get dirty. 

Shit, shit, shit- 

"OI, icy-hot you hear?!"...Was that...BAKUGO? The hell is it he doing here? 

"I overheard what happened in the cafeteria.."oh...

 It may not seem like it but I trust Bakugo and I wasn't the only one. He is a nice guy, sure he is loud and has an aggression problem but he would never let his friends down and that's something I truly respect. 

But...Do i trust him enough to reveal myself?  

"Ugh i guess you are not here! I just-" at this moment, when i was right about to leave I opened the cabin door and stepped out. My arms hidden behind my back i looked at the other male but as our eyes meet i eminently looked to the ground. "...hey" was the only thing that could escape my lips. 

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-1294 words-