my one in million

Chapter 12

Hyuuga Hinata was happy.

Happier than she'd ever thought possible; she smiled and hummed to herself whenever her mind wandered, she'd catch herself smiling for no reason when nobody was around, and of course she felt a sudden surge of energy and the strong urge to get things done.

It's been three days already, but this happiness wasn't slowing down or wearing off.

"Stop smiling to yourself without context, that's why people tend to think you're a creep." Hanabi mumbled and accepted the glass of pineapple juice from her sister.

"I'm happy that you're doing okay." Hinata smiled openly and finished arranging some clothes in the drawers, then climbed over the side of the bed to wrap her arms around her. "I love you, Hanabi."

"Yeah you said that already, that's seven times today…" Hanabi was grumpy and moody, but she wasn't angry. She was thankful she was alive at all. "I love you too." She brushed away an irritating stray hair and drank her juice slowly. Her stomach wasn't used to food because of the many months she'd had without solid food. Thankfully, Hinata had the genius idea to give her pudding which worked like a miracle to calm the urge to throw up. It was great because her sister always brought different flavors, so it was like a small, minuscule adventure to try new flavors. "So… Is dad coming today?"

Hinata stopped grinning long enough to answer. "I don't know, they're still busy with the meetings and the papers, I think he will be at the Hokage tower all day. Maybe tonight?"

Hanabi grumbled incoherently then sipped her drink. "Why didn't he just put you back in charge? I mean, sure I'd make an awesome clan leader, but I'm not any good to him dead."

"Don't say that."

"It's the truth." She wriggled her brows playfully; the dark area around her eyes was starting to fade away now that she wasn't on the verge of death. "I was almost gone back there."

"But you're not! You're okay! Now please eat your pudding and think happy thoughts."

Hanabi huffed, suddenly at a loss of words. After a long moment of reflecting back on what she remembered, she asked quietly. "Does he ever tell you anything?"

Hinata brushed back Hanabi's hair lovingly, mentally noting that it had gotten longer but was brittle and thin. "Father never tells me anything, not unless he absolutely has to."

"No, not dad… I mean… Sasuke." She shot her a glance. "Does he um… Does he ever talk about… Things?"

"What do you mean? What things?"

Hanabi shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I sat around soaked in his chakra for so long, I've… Seen a few things. Things I never thought possible…" She waited for a reaction, but as expected, there was none. Her sister was bad at reaching conclusions unless she knew the whole story. "It would have been great if it was just blood and killing, you know; but it's not. The feelings attached to it hurt so much you'd… You'd… I don't know, if I was him I'd never want to feel anything again."

After a quiet moment, Hinata drew her fingers into Hanabi's hair again, gently, like soothing a sleeping cat. "They're not your memories, it is okay to forget them…"

Hanabi put away her glass and actually hugged Hinata tightly, hiding her face because she was too proud to show her tears, but too young to sort out her feelings rationally. "I know he saved my life, I'm- I'm thankful for him, really I am. I even think he's handsome sometimes… When he's not glaring." She sniffled and tried hard to speak through the quiver in her voice; Hinata held her tightly and gave her all the time she needed. "But I didn't ask for this! I didn't want to know him this well! It's- it's disgusting, Hinata, he's hideous! His father died in front of him, he was scared but a big part of him was happy and relieved! I felt it, too, it made me sick! And that Akatsuki member from the Uchiha, his brother, his flesh and blood; he killed him! I felt myself laughing afterwards, laughing so hard that tears were running down my face- his face I don't know which but it was!" She shook for a long moment, and when she regained her composer she spoke again. "Not just his brother, you know, people with Sharingan -his family!- and his teammates, and even a few people he personally handpicked, he wanted to kill them, all of them. The ways he would imagine them being separated from their bodies… it's just awful… Who would spend every minute of every day thinking about death and killing and all that… Hinata did you know." She pushed away to look into her eyes. "Did you know that in there, there wasn't a single happy memory? None, zip, nadda, nothing! He was never happy, not even once! That Jutsu I was trapped in messes with my mind, but no matter how hard I looked, there wasn't a single good thing to hold on to! I wanted to get back, to find my own memories but there were a lot of people to fight and I was tired… And then it just…"