A Cat-culated Catastrophe

"Ah, Rook to H5... very interesting. I heard you were a messenger of God. They call you the Speechless One, who has never been questioned. A true follower, able to contact the lord himself. Personally, I find that preposterous, but what say you?"

Fluffles wasn't sure whether the Chancellor was simply initiating idle conversation, or whether he had caught on. The Chancellor's posture indicated a level of concentration, and his eyes moved with purpose. Fluffles could feel the weight of the priceless treasure, the Crown Jewel, in the left pocket of his stolen clergyman's robe. His slitted eyes narrowed, trying to catch any suspicion in the wise Chancellor's own wary oculars. He placed a parchment slip onto the table, motioning the Chancellor to open it.

"So it's true! You never speak, do you? Perchance, what could be the reason? I suppose this parchment scrap will reveal all..." The Chancellor kicked back and lit a cigar, allowing one of his guards to grab the parchment, and place it into his worn hand. "You say it's all true. You've been chosen by the heavens? Hah! I'll show you what it means to be royalty, to be a real servant of the lord!" The Chancellor moved his King from H8 to G7, breaking the check.

Fluffles's paw hesitated. He knew it was only a matter of time before his disguise was broken. His tongue moved to clean his fur on instinct, but he managed to stifle the urge, redirecting his paw to the bishop at B4, shifting it to C3, once again placing the Chancellor in check. The Chancellor's confident smile transformed into a scowl as he subtly called the guards over, moving them within close proximity of Fluffles.

"I see...a move worthy of someone revered as the Speechless One. Not one priest has ever been able to confirm your silent teachings, yet you command a loyal following. Say, why don't you tell us your origin? How did you gain the power to speak to God? Go on, spit it out, I'm listening."

The tension began to build in the lavish throne room, adorned with the richest furnishings and the shiniest pillars, all covered with the country's symbol, a star made of swords and arrows. Fluffles knew that he needed an out. Simply uttering a meow would get him killed before the sound stopped echoing against the walls. He did not have a note prepared for this.

"Well? Speak!" the Chancellor bellowed. All three guards pointed their spears at his neck, and Fluffles was forced to act. He engaged all four legs and bounded onto one of the guard's spears at rapid speed, and leaped onto an open windowsill, darting through the narrow gap of the slightly ajar glass with ease. The Crown Jewel was still safely within the clergyman's robes that Fluffles carried with his teeth.

He heard a booming voice throughout the castle. It reverberated in his skull, alerting every person in the castle of his deed.

"Attention, a thief has been discovered in the castle!" The voice roared, "Any and all personnel are to abandon their posts and search the premises for a person in a clergyman robe! This is not a drill!"

Fluffles ran across the battlement's embrasures that lined the inner castle and hopped into one of the storage rooms used for equipment and supplies. His nose twitched against the smell of gunpowder, causing a quiet sneeze to come out.

"Who's there?" A soldier asked from behind the reinforced door. Fluffles scampered up a rack of swords, shoving his body and the clergyman robe between it and the stone wall. He heard the door open, and a well-trained knight, indicated by his battered iron armor, walked in. "Hello? Anyone in here?"

He slowly panned his eyes across the equipment storage room.

"Hmm, no clergyman, no thief. No surprise. They couldn't have fit in through the skylight. I must be hearing ghosts again." The knight walked out and shut the door.

Fluffles unstuck himself from his hiding spot, searching for another disguise. He spotted a foot soldier's uniform and hastily put it on, transferring the Crown Jewel to the right pocket. Confident in his concealment, he snuck out on his hind legs and walked like a person through the castle's hallways, passing many guards who were none the wiser. His ears were perked up, listening for the throne room guards or even the Chancellor himself. Each stretch of hallway was now filled with panicked castle staff running in all directions, desperate to catch the thief and avoid punishment. Fluffles had no query with them. He needed an escape route. As he trekked through the hallways, his hind legs began to give out. He had never walked upright for this long, so when the Chancellor appeared from the grand staircase just a few meters away, Fluffles posted himself against the corner of the wall, and pulled the soldier's cap down over his head.

"Well, find the bloody bastard! I don't care if he comes to me dead or alive!"

"But sir, there's been no sign of him since he escaped the throne room."

The chancellor was irate. His scowl somehow stronger than before, the composed ruler gone, replaced by a greedy noble like always. "Fine. I'll ask this soldier if he's seen anything."

Fluffles felt his chest tighten. Not only was he unable to move from this spot lest his legs give out, but he could only utter meows, not human speech.

"Report," the Chancellor ordered.

"..."

"Are you deaf? I said, report! Did you see a clergyman pass through here?" The Chancellor moved closer in a move to intimidate.

"Neow," Fluffles managed to say.

"No? Say...you coming down with something? Your voice sounds off."

"Nyas."

"Is that so...I have no need for a guard in my castle that can't do their job. Make your way home, lest I rip that uniform off and kick you out." The Chancellor did not wait for an answer before he walked off with his guards in tow.

Fluffles dropped onto all fours and scurried down the elegant stone steps covered with red carpet. With the panic of a thief causing a small amount of chaos, Fluffles managed to sneak past the guards who were too busy arguing with the bridge lifting team to pay attention to him.

"Just lift the damn bridge! This thief escapes and the Chancellor will have all our heads!"

"Alright, alright, I got it already. Quit your yapping. Lift the bridge, lads!"

Just as Fluffles took a step onto the wooden bridge separating him from the dangerous moat below, it began to rise. It rose faster than Fluffles could run, causing him to slip down the bridge as it rose higher and higher, even as his claws dug into the wood. The soldier's disguise slipped off his back and the Crown Jewel fell out of its pocket, sliding on the brick path into the grass.

It wasn't long before the guards were on top of Fluffles. Multiple spears were pointed just centimeters from his throat, leaving little room to move even with his slippery, malleable body.

The Chancellor and his personal guard wasted no time making their way to the gate and stood in front of Fluffles in triumph.

"I cannot believe what I'm seeing. Of all the fools in my castle, I must be the biggest. How could I have not seen this from the beginning? Those slitted eyes, the lack of speech, and those paws. You're no ordinary human, but a master of disguise, a super spy! You don't speak because your voice could be given away. Your luck has run out, Speechless One. Say your last words, you won't be around long enough to hide your voice anymore. Guards, deal with him!"

This was it. Fluffles needed to fight. His principles dictated that claws would only be extended with belly rubs or for climbing, but this situation was dire. His eyes narrowed into slits as thin as a butterfly knife, his tail, normally curled into his back, stood puffed and straight, his claws extended, becoming tools of combat. Before the guards could thrust their spears, Fluffles pushed himself off the ground using the full force of his limbs, dodging each blade as they stuck into the wooden gate. He leaped up into one of the guard's faces, digging his curved claws into their skin before jumping to the next. In less than a minute, each guard was on the ground covered in deep gashes, moaning and bleeding.

The Crown Jewel still sat blended in with the grass, its emerald sheen doused by the raised bridge's shadow. Fluffles snagged his disguise and placed the Crown Jewel back into its pockets, before cutting the rope keeping the bridge upright. With a deafening crash, the wooden bridge once again sat over the moat, allowing Fluffles access to the city surrounding the castle. Without hesitation, Fluffles ran off into the bustling streets, his mission complete.