Echoes of the Alley

16 - Unspoken Struggles

The air felt heavier than usual in the practice studio. Jisung sat cross-legged on the floor, headphones resting around his neck as his laptop screen blinked with an unfinished track. His hands trembled slightly, hovering above the keyboard before falling into his lap in defeat. The once-familiar space where creativity had thrived now felt suffocating.

Across the room, Minho sat in a chair, scrolling through his phone with an air of casual detachment. Every so often, though, his gaze flicked over to Jisung, his brows knitting slightly. He could sense it—the tension radiating off Jisung in waves, the way his shoulders hunched as if trying to disappear.

"You've been staring at that screen for an hour," Minho finally said, breaking the silence. "Are you actually going to do anything?"

Jisung startled slightly, his head snapping up. "I was...thinking."

Minho quirked an eyebrow. "Thinking isn't the same as doing."

"I know that," Jisung mumbled, tugging at the strings of his hoodie. "I just... I'm not in the zone right now."

"You're never going to be in the zone if you keep psyching yourself out." Minho's tone was sharp but not unkind. "Just lay something down. It doesn't have to be perfect."

Jisung's jaw tightened. He knew Minho was right, but the words still stung. Perfection wasn't just an expectation he placed on himself; it felt like a necessity, a way to prove he belonged. The pressure of blending into Minho's talented circle only added to the weight already on his chest.

Minho sighed, setting his phone aside. He stood and crossed the room, dropping into a crouch in front of Jisung. "Look, I'm not trying to be a jerk. I'm just saying you need to get out of your own head. You're good, Jisung. Stop doubting it."

Jisung's eyes flicked up to meet Minho's, and for a moment, he felt a flicker of relief. But the knot in his chest didn't loosen entirely. He nodded stiffly, murmuring a quiet "Thanks" before returning his gaze to his laptop.

—
Later that evening, Jisung found himself walking aimlessly through the city streets. The cool night air nipped at his cheeks, a welcome distraction from the thoughts swirling in his mind. His phone buzzed in his pocket, but he ignored it, needing the solitude more than the connection.

The familiar hum of a street musician's guitar reached his ears as he turned onto a quieter street. He paused, watching the performer pluck at the strings with practiced ease. The melody was soft, melancholic, and it tugged at something deep within him. For a moment, he let himself get lost in the music, the world around him fading into the background.

"Jisung?"

The sound of his name pulled him back to reality. He turned to see Felix standing a few steps away, a small smile on his face. "Hey. What are you doing out here?"

Jisung shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Just... needed some air. What about you?"

Felix held up a small bag. "Late-night snack run. You looked like you were in another world just now."

"Yeah, something like that." Jisung's lips twitched into a faint smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Felix's gaze softened. "You okay? You've been kind of off lately."

Jisung hesitated, the words caught in his throat. He wanted to spill everything—the anxiety, the self-doubt, the pressure that felt like it was crushing him. But instead, he shook his head. "I'm fine. Just tired."

Felix didn't look convinced, but he didn't push. "Alright. But you know you can talk to me, right?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Lix."

Felix smiled softly. "Mhm, anytime."

—
The next day, Jisung found himself back at the studio, this time with Felix and Seungmin in tow. Minho's group had invited them over again, and Jisung couldn't find a good enough excuse to decline. He told himself it was fine. It'd be a distraction, maybe even fun.

When they arrived, Hyunjin greeted them with his usual flamboyance, immediately dragging Felix into a discussion about choreography.

Seungmin gravitated toward Chan and Changbin, the three of them quickly delving into a debate about production techniques.

Jisung hovered near the edge of the room, unsure where to place himself. Minho noticed, of course. He always did.

"You're doing it again," Minho said as he approached, his voice low enough that only Jisung could hear.

"Doing what?" Jisung asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Acting like you don't belong." Minho leaned against the wall next to him, arms crossed. "No one's judging you, you know."

"That's easy for you to say. You're always so... composed."

Minho snorted. "Yeah, right. You think I've never felt like I didn't measure up?"

Jisung glanced at him, surprised. "You?"

"Of course me," Minho said, his tone matter-of-fact. "Everyone feels that way sometimes. The trick is not letting it control you."

"How do you do that?"

Minho shrugged. "I focus on what I can do instead of what I can't. And I stop caring so much about what other people think."

Jisung nodded slowly, letting Minho's words sink in. It wasn't a magical solution, but it was something.

—
As the afternoon wore on, the atmosphere in the studio grew more relaxed. Felix and Hyunjin were practicing a dance routine in one corner, while Chan and Changbin worked on a beat with Seungmin offering occasional suggestions.

Jisung finally managed to settle at the keyboard, another instrument he knew how to play.

His fingers tentatively pressed the keys as he worked through a melody that had been stuck in his head for days. It was rough, but it was a start.

Minho wandered over, leaning against the keyboard stand. "That new?"

"Yeah," Jisung said, glancing up. "It's not much yet, but..."

"Play it again," Minho said.

Jisung did, his fingers finding the notes more confidently this time. Minho listened intently, nodding along.

"It's good," Minho said when Jisung finished. "You should keep working on it."

Jisung's chest warmed at the praise, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Thanks."

For the first time in what felt like weeks, the pressure in his chest eased slightly. It wasn't gone, but it was manageable. And for now, that was enough.

———————

— A/N: Hii, happy thanksgiving ૮꒰˶ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ˶꒱ა

— Recommended song for this chapter: "To Build a Home" by Cinematic Orchestra