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6 months later I slammed the receiver down with more force than I mean to, the sudden clatter ringing in my ears. I didn't care. My hands were shaking, my chest tight with a mix of disbelief and frustration. How had I gotten here? Why was everything so complicated? I couldn't even talk to Fantasia anymore without feeling like she was miles away, asking questions I couldn't answer. pushing me into corners I couldn't escape.
"Taraji, what happened? Why did he do what he did? He should be the one in jail not you."
I could still hear her voice in my head, soft but insistent, the way it always was when she was worried. Fantasia had a way of making me feel like everything could be fixed, like all I needed was to show up and everything would fall into place. But that's wasn't how it worked. Not now.
I looked out of the small window in my cell, the beyond feeling as cold and distant as the life I'd left behind. It had been 6 months since I got arrested. Six months since the world I knew—my old life, my job, my career. It all had slipped away like sand through my fingers.
I started when I heard a the door to my cell slammed open, and I didn't need to look up to see who it was. The heavy boots, the loud brash laugh—it was Lila. My bunkmate. The one who ruled this cell, whether she a badge or not.
"Well,Well,Well" Lila's voice sliced through the air like a blade. "Look who's still breathing"
she moved in closer and I can feel her eyes on me. Looking me up and down. I kept my gaze down, my hands resting flat on my knees. I knew better than to me her gaze—looking her in the eye was like offering yourself up for a fight.
Lila: "Who do you think you are Raji hm?" she asked, her voice low, teasing. "Sittin' up there all quiet like you're to good for this place. I see you tryna keep your distance, like you're somehow different from the rest of us." she let out a short laugh, but it was full of venom.
Lila: "You think you better than the rest of us Taraji?
I felt the pit of my stomach drop. I didn't want trouble. I just wanted to get through each day,keep my head down, and do my time without making a scene.
she slammed her fist on the side of my bunk. Lila: "I'm talking to you lil girl"
Taraji: What do you want Lila?
she grinned, slow and dangerous, leaning in close.
Lila: "I want to see how long you last in here, Taraji. You must think you're some quiet little angel huh? News flash. You're not. Just another inmate. Just another number."
