LOST MY BELIEF - English Version

Second Chapter

"You really have guts, Luke," I said, aiming my spear at him. "Why should I even listen to you?"

Luke stood there, calm and firm, as if he knew exactly what he needed to say to reach me. "Because you know you're the only one who can understand what's at stake here," he said quietly. "You've been through the same thing I have. You know what it feels like to be abandoned by the gods."

I clenched my teeth, trying not to let his words affect me. "You betrayed us, Luke. And now you come here talking about 'understanding'? What do you want from me?"

"I don't want you to retreat back into the shadows," he said, taking a step closer. "I want you to realize what you are, what you can become. You have everything it takes, Thalia. The gods abandoned you, just like they did me. But you never stopped fighting. And you can still win."

"Win?" I snorted and turned away as the pain of old memories resurfaced. Memories of the gods simply ignoring us when we were young and vulnerable. Memories of how they didn't protect us when we needed help the most. "You just betrayed us. You chose the Titans and turned your back on all of us. And now you're standing here trying to explain why you did it?"

Luke sighed quietly and looked at me as if he knew my anger wasn't really directed at him. "You never really understood, did you?" he said calmly. "You never really understood why I left. Why I joined the Titans."

"Because you doubted the gods," I said. "And sure, I do too, but that's no reason to join the Titans. They wouldn't treat us any better once they have the power."

"Maybe," he said softly. "But at least they never used us, unlike the gods. The gods never truly saw us as anything other than tools. You're more than that, Thalia. You know that. You shouldn't be a pawn of the gods. No one should be."

"I know," I whispered, as a memory surfaced. The day I was turned into a tree. How Zeus—my own father—used me for his own advantage instead of saving me.

"You never deserved that," Luke continued when he saw the pain in my eyes. "You were a child, Thalia. A child who longed for family and love. And what did the gods do? They turned you into a tree instead of saving you. They left you there, in a state worse than death."

"Stop," I whispered, my voice breaking. "Please stop telling me this."

"Why?" he asked, his voice gentle but firm. "Because you don't want to hear it? You know it's the truth. You suffered, Thalia. They abandoned you, and yet you still fight for them, hoping for something they'll never give you. Respect. Acknowledgment. Freedom."

"And what does that have to do with you?" I asked, my voice trembling, but I couldn't hold back the question. "What have you earned, Luke? What did you get? You're the one who betrayed us, the one who left us."

"Yes," he said quietly, "but I chose not to fight for the gods. And not for the Titans either, if you think about it. I fight for us, for all those who suffered like we did. Who were just as ignored by the gods. You're one of us, Thalia. You've been through the same as I have. And you deserve to decide what you want to do. You deserve to choose, not as a pawn of the gods, but as someone who determines their own fate."

"And you want me to stand by your side because you think I deserve it?" I asked, my heart pounding faster.

"Because I know you deserve it," he said, his voice almost familiar. "Because I know you're the only one who can understand. We could change everything, Thalia. If you want."

I fell silent, the words swirling in my head like a storm. I knew he was right, but it felt so wrong, so final. And yet...

"You were there for me back then," he said suddenly. "You were always there for me. I wasn't the only one who believed in you. We never planned to change the world, Thalia. We were just kids trying to survive because the gods abandoned us. You never reached out to me, but you know what I mean. We were just trying to live."

"You were... there for me?" I asked, the pain in my chest growing.

"Yes," Luke said softly. "I was in love with you, Thalia. And I thought maybe you felt the same. But the world tore us apart, and now... now I'm not just fighting for us, but for what we could have had together. Please. Come with me."

I felt something shift inside me as I looked into his eyes, which held so much pain and hope. And then, almost like a whisper in the wind, I heard the voice in my head—the one that had never left. Why don't you just do it? Why not? Why not betray those who betrayed you years ago?

I closed my eyes, hesitating for a moment. It wasn't an easy decision. But deep down, I knew it was the only way left to me.

"Okay," I heard myself say.

"No!" Percy interrupted. "Thalia, you can't do this!"

I turned around and looked Percy in the eyes, seeing how shocked he was by my decision. "I'm sorry, Percy," I said, and walked away. "But Luke is right. The gods don't care about us. And I've lost my belief in them."

"Thalia, please!" Grover pleaded. "You belong with us!"

I turned one last time and whispered barely audibly, "Maybe I'm exactly where I truly belong."