She Who Fell

The end of a new beginning

"Ugh she's such a ugly freak." "And what's with that eye  crap?" "Ya she honestly believes her bang can cover that monstrosity." "Look I heard she was in a mental hospital." "Ya wasn't she like some sort of psycho that killed her pets or something?" "She doesn't belong here." "She should just move." "No she should just go and DIE." I gripped my pencil in hand and wrote largely on the sheet of paper; congrats you get your wish, bitches. I stood abruptly from my seat; the chair skidded and fell back to meet the old white tiled floor. I felt all pairs of eyes turn to stare at me like hawks stalking their prey. 'Good I've got all of you asshole's attention,' I thought before walking over to one of the large glass windows on the side of the classroom, which shows an overview of the front gates of the school.

I heard the redundant, unending, and vicious whispers continue. They all whispered different things, though through my ears they all said the same thing. It formed a chant of different words, but same outcome, for me anyway. "Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Go and die. Go and die. Suicide. Suicide. You don't belong here so just disappear." 

Opening the window I was hit with the sweet smell of the cherry blossom trees along with the petals that came with the gust of spring wind. Spring, my favorite and also my birth season. A small smile graced my pale pink lips. 'I'll see you soon mama, papa.' I gripped the sides of the open window and looked to the ground that was four stories down. My heart started to beat in my chest, thumping against my ribs like a prisoner behind bars. Though my heart didn't beat in fear, it was from relief. Excitement even. I won't have to suffer anymore. It's my time and I accept that. No one cares away. 

I placed my right foot on the window sill and heard the gasps chorus into my goodbye melody. Though no one came to stop me, no one cried out no, no one was afraid or sad, and no one cared at all. With a smile still gracing my lips a tear rolled down my face, my neck and then was absorbed by the collar of my uniform shirt. I braced my foot against the sill and loosened my grip on the windows' sides. It's time to end this life that's full of despair. I pushed myself off the sill and soared through the air. In this moment I finally had this small, if nothing, feeling of freedom. I shut my eyes not wanting to see when my freedom ends and the ground begins. Flashes of my mother and fathers smiling faces went through my mind. 'It's my time...'

And then it was over. I felt incomparable and indescribable pain for a split second before everything was flooded with black. All I could see was complete and utter pitch black darkness. I sat up and looked down at my body which seemed to let off a soft white glow. "Am I dead? Is it finally over?" My voice echoed through the seemingly endless vacuum of space. I stood and looked around in the darkness. Then stopped as I spotted something in the distance, it was a small shining light. It looked almost like a star that would usually hang high above in the night sky. 

I started walking towards the light not knowing what else to do. I continued to walk for what seemed like days, but that couldn't be right since I didn't get hungry, thirsty, or even the tiniest bit tired. With every step I took the light seemed to get brighter and bigger, even if just by a little. After what to me seemed like weeks I finally stood in front of the origin of the light source. It was an old wooden oak door. The door was covered in scratches and the wood sprung out at parts, and the gloss that covered the door was peeling off. Though through all the decay my memory served more powerful. It looked like the door my dad had made when I was younger. He had made it for the front door of our new house after moving. Around the edges of the withering door the bright light shined. I put my hand on the old red and brown rusted handle, slowly opened the door. I quickly shut and covered my eyes to protect them from the blinding light that flooded my previously shadowy surroundings.