She Who Fell

The Girl

I've been here for three (conscious) days already and all I want to do is get out. To saw away these restraints and go outside; breath in the sweet spring air. That's just a far away dream though. I'm not allowed to leave the room as I am under suicidal watch. This is understandable seeing as though I did just try to kill myself, but that doesn't mean you have to send someone to check up on me every five minutes. I don't even thing a person checks up on a baby that frequently. It's just crazy. They wonder why i'm so irritated.

There was a soft knock at the door. 'Right on time,' I thought. My assigned nurse for today walked in with a tray of food. After helping me sit up she smiled and excused herself out the room. On the plastic silver tray was a small salad, meat, red jello, juice, and some fruit. Same exact thing as yesterday. The meat was dry and tasteless. Salad had no sauce, just lettuce. Jello had the texture of rubber. The only thing I could eat was the fruit and drink the juice. 

I was always scold - no they didn't scold me. They spoke to me like I was this little fragile thing. That at any loud voice or demand or rude comment I'd break and try to kill myself again. I won't though. Yes I may have jumped from a window with the intention to die, but I won't try it. 

At least not now. 

I'm not that weak hearted. My will to live is strong. I've lived my life after my father was gone. After my mother was gone. After the physical pain and mental abuse. No matter what I lived as good as I could. So when I jumped; when I finally gave up; it was the biggest decision I could ever make. Now that i'm alive I guess I can start again. I can try again. Just this time around I may not last as long. 

When the nurse came back to take the tray she just sighed noticing the lack of missing food. "You should eat. You need your strength to get better." "I'm not hungry." I stated bluntly and she left. 

The sick smell in the room began to make me light headed with the absence of food to blanket over it. With nothing to do in this blank void I began to hum softly. My eyes fixated on the ticking clock all the while. Hours had passed filled with my silent hum and ignoring those who came to check on me. The next person to enter was different. She wore my school's uniform with a bouquet of flowers in hand. 

"Hi." She stated with a cautious smile.I sighed, "What do you want?" Slow as a snail she walked to me as if I was a lion and would snap off her head at any second. "I heard what happened, so I wanted to bring you some more flowers." I glanced at the tiny table that held a vase of dead flowers. 

"Did you bring those too?" I ask. Her eyes lightened up with excitement, "Yeah! I didn't mean to be gone so long. School was just keeping me from coming." I shook my head, "It's fine. Who are you anyway?" She grinned a grand smile and began replacing the flowers. 

"I'm Asami Kimura. I'm in your class." I nod. "So how are y-" "Please don't ask me. I'm tired of being asked that same old question." I muttered cutting her off. "Sorry-oh! I also brought the work and notes you missed." She pulled out the papers and two notebooks from her school bag. Setting them down beside my legs. 

She began to speak, but once again I cut her off, "You should be leaving now. I'm tired so..." Her everlasting smile disappeared. "Yeah okay. I'll come by some other time to get the work. Bye for now." Rushing out the room with a loud bang from the closing door. 

"Great i'm alone again." I say with no sarcasm. I've only been here three conscious days and i'm already tired of humans.