The Long Way Home

Losing You

"You're seventeen years old, Edward. Stop wasting your high school years on a girl. Who knows, you'll probably find your actual soul mate. Maybe Bella is just a phase."

Those words have been running circles in my mind for majority of the day.  

My name is Edward Cullen, a seventeen-year-old student at Forks Highschool. I don't mean to brag, but I'm considered one of the best-looking guys here- forever reminded by the female population here. Not that I pay them any mind; Bella is the only girl that has ever caught my eye. 

I stand at a good 6 feet and 2 inches tall. I have this odd, bronze colored hair. Most girls at school try to run their hands through it, but I always jerk my head away. I'm not sure where it came from as neither of my parents have this color hair. I also have the deepest green eyes; that's where most of my compliments come from. 

People would probably think I wasn't interested in girls if it wasn't for Bella. The girls that attend my school has never caught my eye. If they're not doing the most for my attention, then they're just not attractive in my eyes. When Bella moved here from California, I thought I was the luckiest guy on the blanket. 

Bella- my beautiful girlfriend. Bella is a little on the shorter side, standing at 5 feet and 3 inches tall. She has the most beautiful, big brown eyes. She usually uses them on me to get whatever she wants, and I'm the sucker that falls for it each time. She has long mahogany hair that falls just below her butt. Besides her eyes, her hair is one of my favorite things about her. It always smells like fresh strawberries and I just want to keep my face buried in it all the time. 

I remember our first time running into each other like it was yesterday. When I say "runnning into each other" I literally mean that.

  Flashback:

"Did you hear about the new girl starting today? I heard she'll be in our grade. I'm so excited!"  My younger sister Alice gleamed with enthusiasm.

I did hear about the new girl arriving today. In fact, it's ALL I've heard today. It's quite annoying to be honest - it's as if they've never seen another human before. 

"Yes, Alice. It's the onl-." 

My words were cut short by something solid bumping into my chest. It took me a minute to regain my focus, but when I did - my words were once again cut short. In front of me was one of the most beautiful girl I personally have ever laid eyes on. She had the deepest chocolate brown eyes and full pink lips. She had long mahogany hair that went a little past her butt, and she was pretty short. By looking at her I'd say she's about 5'3 in height. A very noticeable difference to my 6'2.

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention." It's okay, beautiful. I said that in my head of course. 

Looking down at her, she turned the deepest shade of pink and it spread from her face and disappeared into her shirt. 

"You're all good. I should've been paying attention, too." 

She smiled the most breathtaking smile at me. She was so beautiful. 

"OHEMMGEEE! Are you Bella Swan? My name is Alice Cullen. We've been waiting for your arrival all morning..." 

Alice ended up dragging her away before I could  fully introduce myself to her. The last thing I seen was her turn around and wave at me with a small smile.

Present day:

After bumping into Bella that day, she became inseparable between Alice and me. She quickly became my entire world. After many attempts, I was finally able to score a date with her, and from that moment, everything changed. Until now. It's been something that's been weighing on my heart and mind for a few days now. Today, Bella will no longer be mine. There will be no more stolen kisses in between classes, no more spending the holidays together, no mor-

I shook my head trying to rid myself of the thoughts. I know this is something that I need to do. My friends are right, this is my final year of high school. I should be able to let loose and have fun... 

Here come the thoughts again. 

"Edward, this is our senior year. Do you really want to be tied down right now?" 

"You can go to any party and can attract any girl you want." Bella is the only girl I want. 

 "All of your friends are single. Come on Ed, man!"  

Of course, I was broken out of my thoughts by the one who they were about. Her tiny hand slipped into mine. 

"Hi!" She looked up at me, her smile distracting me from my thoughts. 

"Hi, baby. I was actually looking for you. Do you have a moment?" 

"Yeah, what's up." 

Shit. This is the hard part as it was something I never expected to do. 

I pulled her to an empty classroom, so we'd be able to talk in private. I scratched my head trying to find the right words to say. I internally scoffed. What right words are there in this situation? Exactly. 

"So, umm..."

"Judging by your hesitation, you didn't bring me here for good news." Bella sighed. 

"Yeah. Bella look, these past two, almost three years have been amazing with you. There is nobody else in this world that I would want to experience what I have with you. But I think that we may need to take a break. We're both seniors, maybe there's more for us to explore out here." 

"Edward, we've been together most of our high school years. We can work this out." Bella sobbed, bringing both of her hands up to grab the sides of my hoodie. 

I covered her hands with mine and gently pulled them down, holding them in mine.

"No, Bella. We can't and I'm sorry." 

"You don't want me?" 

I gripped her hands tightly in mine and looked away. I swallowed so hard I'm sure she heard it. 

"No." I'm lying. I hope you can tell. 

As soon as the word slipped out of my mouth, Bella snatched her hands out of mine; my hands immediately missing the warmth. She walked to the door, reaching her left hand up to twist the knob. Before leaving out, she looked at me from over her right shoulder and said, "I hope you're happy." Then she was gone. 

You would think that for someone newly single, a sense of relief would wash over them, as if a weight had been lifted off of their shoulders. But for me, it felt the opposite. It was as if a heavy bag of rocks had been dumped on my heart - leaving it heavy but so empty at the same time. 

As I stared at the door that separated Bella and I, I couldn't help but think. Was I really letting other people get into my head about my relationship? What Bella and I have... HAD was great. We rarely argued and we loved pretty much the same thing. 

Throughout the day my mind kept flashing images of Bella crying. I barely paid attention in any of my classes. It ached more and more, and before I knew it, I was in my car crying. Crying for everything I lost. Crying for letting people easily get into my head- especially about someone I love. 

Most of my tears came from losing you...