The Long Way Home

Missing You

I'm fully aware that I initiated the break-up, but the days that followed were truly miserable. It felt like I had completely forgotten how to function as a human being. My weekends were spent lying down in my bed, occasionally getting up to use the bathroom or take a shower. I hardly even ate these days, and it wasn't until the second week that my mother had enough that she made me come down to eat.

My family was another story. My mother and father were understandably upset; they liked Bella and considered her a second daughter. Alice took our break-up harder than anyone else, which is understandable. Bella is her best friend, and from what I've heard, she's struggling with the break-up as much as I am. I may or may not have eavesdropped when she spent the night last weekend with Rosalie and Alice. 

Flashback: 

"So how do you feel about the whole breakup?"  Rosalie questioned. 

The room fell silent before Bella finally responded. I almost wished she hadn't. 

"Honestly? It's hard. I spent the past two years of my life with Edward. We spent every holiday, birthday, summer, etc. together. What am I supposed to do now? He made me feel real love, and he distracted me from everything. Aside from you two, he was the only one that made me feel alive. I miss him." 

Alice pulled Bella into her arms. "I know, honey. I'm so mad at him. You guys were perfect. It'll get better." 

"Will it?" Bella scoffed. "It's been so hard seeing him at school. I try my best to avoid him here." 

"If it makes you feel any better, Emmett said Edward has been the same way. He's barely himself these days." Rosalie sighed. 

I eventually walked away after I've heard enough. Hearing Bella cry knowing I was the cause of it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. 

Present day:

A gentle knock on my door pulled me from my thoughts.

"Good morning, Edward. There's breakfast downstairs waiting for you. I don't want it to get cold." My mother's voice broke through the silence from behind my thick black door. 

"I'll be down in a minute." 

Once I heard her footsteps fade, I tossed my blanket aside and swung my legs over my bed. The day wasn't going to pause, and I had school.

I opened up my closet door and pulled out a pair of dark wash jeans and a simple plain black tee. I tossed them onto the love seat in the corner of my room before heading to the bathroom for a quick shower. 

I thoroughly scrubbed every inch of my body, letting the steam hit the air. After I quickly washed my hair, I stepped out and glanced at my phone. It was 6:39AM and I needed to be at school at 7:30AM.

I grabbed my towel from the hook on my bathroom door and quickly dried off. Once I was dry enough, I quickly slipped on my clothes and headed downstairs to eat. I was greeted with the presence of my sister and father. Alice's presence didn't last long. As soon as she laid her eyes on me, she grabbed her keys and slipped out of the front door, slamming it on her way out. 

"She's still ignoring you?" My dad chuckled. 

I shrugged in response. 

"Listen, son," he said, leaning against the counter, "Your mother and I were very young when we started dating. People tried to break us up all the time. We've had her friends who disapproved of each other, and there were always temptations to stray. But what I want you to know is that if you truly love someone, no one can tear you apart." 

He patted my shoulder before heading upstairs with his mug of coffee. I ended up leaving out the kitchen a moment after him and before I shut the front door I heard, "Think about what I said." 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

School was miserable and I hadn't even made it to second period yet. All throughout my first period, I would catch myself lost in my thoughts about Bella. I don't know why, but nothing could shake my mind from thoughts of Bella.

"Ed, man! You coming to Jessica's party tonight?" Laurent asked me. 

"Nah, I'm good. I have some shit going on at home." 

"What shit? Being miserable in your room after breaking up with that-" 

Laurent wasn't able to finish his sentence before Emmett came up behind me and cut him off. 

"With that what?" He asked. 

"Nothing, man. I was just telling Ed to slide to Jessica's party tonight." Laurent held both of his hands up and backed away.

I didn't even bother sticking around. I slipped my air pod in my left ear and all but ran out of the class. I should've looked where I was going because next thing you know my air pod flew out of my ear and across the hall, and the book that I had in my hand slammed right onto the floor

"Fuck! I'm so sorry I-" I knew that voice. 

"Bella." I sighed. 

While she was picking up her papers on the floor, I took time to examine her. I know, I could've helped her pick her things up, but I haven't fully seen her since we broke up. Her long hair was thrown into a messy bun on top of her head, some flyway's sticking out. She was dressed in a plain white hoodie with black sweatpants. On her tiny little feet were some black crocs that she only wore when she didn't feel like dressing up. I didn't get a good look at her face because her face was out of my view. 

Suddenly Bella was face to face with me. "Edward. Hi." She breathed. 

"H-hi. How are you." I mentally slapped myself. How are you? Seriously?

She shrugged with a sad smile. "I'm not going to lie and say I've been okay." 

That was all I needed to break down all the emotions I've been feeling for the past two weeks. My heart was beating so fast it felt as if it were about to burst through my chest, and it felt as if there were a thousand butterflies in my stomach right now. 

Before I could even stop myself, I stepped closer to Bella and my right hand instinctively reached up to caress her cheek. The familiar spark that has always ignited between us was there. I leaned down until my lips were inches from touching hers, and I whispered the words I've longed to say since we broke up. 

"I miss you, Bella. I love you."