her last one

city skyline

LILLI'S POV

im on my day bead staring out into the city, its been awhile since i've left this place about 2 months ago was the last time i left, my bestfriend iris was able to drag me out of my bed but now she cant.

I dont understand why i was meant to be here on this planet, im just another spec of grass in a field at this point, im worthless here, no one loves me and im unable to love, im basically just a used cutting board, a barcode. My scars ruin who i am and my self esteem. I dont get why iris wants to stick around me im always so sad i have no emotion no nothing left in me just nothingness.

I stand up and walk over to my bathroom, i reach up to open the mirror grabbing the small metal blade that is hidden in a pink jar with bows. My favorite color used to be pink not anymore though it's black now.

I sit down on the floor locking the door behind me, i shift my jumper up so it reaches my shoulder, i glide the blade across my skin only slightly wincing at the pain.

Cutting myself helps me remember that i'm just a piece of nothing and that i really don't deserve to be here. If i hurt myself it feels like im punishing myself for good if you know what i mean.

IRIS'S POV

it's been months since i've been able to get lilli out of her apartment, she really isn't doing ok, i always come by her place daily to make sure she's alright and so she doesn't do anything stupid, but today i have a little surprise for her!

i knock on her door and wait for her, i hear a door slamming and foot steps coming to the door, when lilli opens the door she looks more broken than usual, her face is... empty and emotionless
"hi babes!" i smile at her but she just stares back at me, she gestures for me to come inside.

i place my shoes on the rack by the door as well as my coat, i walk over and sit down on her grey couch

"how have you been lil? it's been a few days since i've come in and checked on you" i give her a small smile

she shifts her position in her spot "i've been fine iris, why do you care?" she asks her expression not shifting

i frown slightly "because i love you lils, now you can't get out of this one, im taking you to a party tonight, and there is no way your not going" i giggle and wait for her to respond

she looks back at me confused "but why? is there a reasoning?"

"no reason i just need you to get out of the house for once lil, now im gonna pop back home ill let you prepare yourself for tonight hun" i immediately stand up and skip to the door grabbing my shoes and giving lilli a small wave before leaving

LILLI'S POV

this bitch! as much as i love iris i can't believe she is making me go to some stupid ass party! parties really aren't my thing they are so... loud and overwhelming my body just doesn't react well to those type of places

i stand up and walk to my closet i need something with long sleeves but isn't too hot, parties are always hot and sweaty and just eugh imagining it is terrible.

i grab a black long sleeved shirt and jeans, this should be enough for a party right? it's not like i'm going to the met gala i mean i hope im not going to the met gala.

i walk over to the bathroom and get changed into my bland outfit, i just stare into the mirror for about 10 minutes just wondering why i look like this, my big chubby cheeks and glasses are so bad, my acne is everywhere around my face im just plain ugly.

i walk out the bathroom and just sit in the lounge room awaiting the time for when i have iris come get me.

706 words, how do we like it?