My Story.

6th Grade

Aggg Sorry For The Late Update.. Ive Been Bust With Texas Stuff... So This Part Will Be About 6th Grade. Okay So 6th Grade.. The Beginning Of Middle School.. Pretty Terrifying. o-o 6th Grade Was Honestly Just A Normal School Year In The Beginning.. I Had Boyfriends. Whatever. I Had Some Friends. Whatever... But I Still Always Had A Pain Deep Inside Me. Depression. I Liked Band.. It Was The Only Class I Felt Comfortable In. After Choosing The French Horn. One Of The Only 3 French Horn Players In 6th Grade. It Was Me, Zac, And Eliska.  ( LunaTheHooman ) Tbh.. They Were My BestFriends. Even Though Everybody Thought I Hated Zac, Me & LunaTheHooman Both Knew I Didnt.. Well Anyway, With These 2 Great BestFriends You Would Think I Was Happy. And Don't Get Me Wrong.. I LOVED Them. So Much. I Still Do. But I STILL Had Depression. So I STILL Cut. And Worried Everybody.. I Was Selfish.. I Didnt Care That I Was Hurting Other People.. Zac Always Worried. I Would Wear A Sweatshirt And He Knew.. In Science When Nobody Else Really Payed Any Attention To Us He Would Ask Me Why... You Could Tell By His Voice He Was Worried.. He Had A Worried Look On His Face.. I Couldn't Explain. How Do You Explain What Its Like To Be Dead Inside...? So November Rolled Around (Birthday Month "Big Whoop")... I Had A Boyfriend. Alex. And Damn We Were Happy.. He Made Me Forget I Was Depressed. The Only Feeling I Ever Felt Was Love. Love Love Love. I Loved Alex, So Much. He Was So Great. We Lasted 2 Months & 5 Days... After The Break Up It Was Like Every Depressing Feeling I Had Held Back For Those 2 Months & 5 Days Came Spilling Out. I Cried. So Much. I Started Looking For The Closest Thing In The Art Room To Cut Myself. I Found It. But Before I Got To My Skin My Friend Yanked The Scissors From My Hand. I Was Pissed. I Wanted To Die. I Got Off The Bus Later That Day & Ran Home. I Slammed The Door Open & Closed. I Dropped My Backpack Somewhere Up The Stairs. And I Ran To My Room, Slammed The Door And I Cut. I Cut, And Cut, And Cut. I Tore Apart Everything He Gave Me. I Popped The Little Ball That Said "I Love You" On It. I Ripped The Head Of The Teddy Bears.. I Threw It Out The Window. And I Continued Cutting. I Cut My Arms, Legs, Neck, Anywhere It Would Do Damage.. I Came To School The Next Day With A Sweatshirt  And Jeans. Zac Knew. Right Away. In Math (First Period) He Came Up To Me & Asked Me To Roll My Sleeves Up. So I Went The To Corner & Showed Him.. He Was So Disappointed. Alex Was His Friend. And He Didnt Talk To Alex The Whole Class... So For The Rest Of The Year I Cut & I Acted Normal.. Like Always.. Fuck. I Hated Everything.