You inspired me to do this, you inspired me to write my feelings. I could never tell you anything important to your face, because I was scared of judgement. I was scared that you would run away and leave me. You'd take away the only good thing in my life.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. If there was any amount of times that I could say that to make you believe me, I would.
I'm sorry that when you were sad, or crying, or just having a bad day that I would be quiet. I tried to bring myself to help but I couldn't. I know when I was that way, I wanted support. I wanted anything but to be alone with my thoughts.
You won't believe me when I say this, but I was shocked. I was shocked that this amazing girl I've known since elementary school had flaws. Because you've always been perfect to me. I was scared because I didn't know what to do with this information; that someone I looked to in my times of need had some of the same problems. That you had flaws. But you did, you do.
I'm sorry when you told me you had a crush on someone other than me, I would get angry or passive aggressive. I wanted to be them, and I don't understand how they don't recognize how amazing you are, how you're passionate and smart and funny and caring. I'm sorry you think that you're unattractive, stupid, fat, and fake. I'm sorry for all the words people have pumped into your brain. Because you aren't. You're the prettiest, smartest, realest, amazingest person I know.
When I told you I purged, I don't think you believed me.
When I told you I cut, I don't think you believed me.
When I told you I liked you, I don't think you believed me.
When I told you I tried to kill myself, I don't think you believed me.
When I told you I would get over you, I don't think I believed myself.
YOU ARE READING
foxes; letters
Non-Fictionletters to people, to the end of the world, to the natural phenomenon when we have to lie to stay alive.
