I was walking down the street one day and this guy said "Hey what a nice boob" and I was shocked so I slapped the muthafucka across the muthafuckin head and yelled "BRUTHA YOU WANNA GO THERE" and he ran away and I thought "Hey maybe I have some talent maybe my boob really was that amazing, "Hey, maybe I can be a boob model", I thought to myself once again because I am a weird ass bitch. I went to my mom's house to discuss it later that day, "Haaaaaaaaaaayyyy momma how you doooiiin" and she replied with "I'm doing so fuckin good I got the marijuana, da weedz, and mah bong life is fuckin great. You?" and I said "I have a delima mommy." and she said "Awww bby whats ur problum? sum fukin bitch be after u again? I'ma fuckin get my muthafuckin glock out and show deez bitchez who da boss round here" and I said "Momma no!, Put the gun down! I wanna be a boob model" and she asked "The fuck is a fuckin boob model, you on somethin hun?" and I said "fuck no I don't do drugs mum.. you do, that's your job, not mine." and she said "oh yeah that's true drugs are my unicorns that go fuckin boom" and I said "yeah mom I get it you love drugs back to me the important person right now" and she said "oh yes! Boob model hahahaha why don't you just do porn hun" and I said "Because I don't wanna lose my virginity I wanna be a virgin for the rest of my fucking virgin life." and she said "...Maybe drinking and doing drugs while you were in the womb did affect you." and i responded with "You did what while i was in the womb" and she said "Nothing. Carry on." and I said "okay so tomorrow I have an interveiw with a guy for a boob modeling job." and she said "Oh that's great honey!" and i said "yes, yes it is. Tomorrow morning at six o'clock. I'm gonna go to bed now so i can be up extra early. Bye mom!" and she said "Bye, sweety have wet dreams!"
That morning I left and when i got there he was sitting there in a chair and said "have a seat" and I took the chair and he yelled "I MEANT SIT DOWN MUTHAFUCKIN BITCH NOT TAKE MY FUCKING CHAIR." and I said "oh sorry" and sat in the chair and he said "Show me them" and I said "Show you what?" and he goes "The boobs." and he grined then I took off my shirt and he said "Yes ohhh yesss" then I took off my bra exposing my breasts, he looked horrified "AHHH!!!", he screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THOSE!" and I said "What do you mean?" and he yelled "Y-YOUR NIPPLES WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY MOUTHS" and I said "ohhh yeah I had surgery" and he yelled "DIE BITCH DIE" and he stabbed repeatidly thirty-eight times and cut my stomach open and wore my entrails while he ate soup.
