The Forbidden Chase To Soar

4.A Drunk Proposal

I'm sorry for being extremely late. It's wedding season in my relative's so been busy.

Apeksha's pov
My knuckles clench and then unclench. Pulling away the pen I was chewing on, which I didn't even realise until now, my face contoured in grimace. Staying focused on anything when he is around doesn't lie in my strong forte.

So I give up, slam my notebook shut and the laptop follows suit. I'm a bag of nerves, evident from my fiddling fingers and wobbly legs when I pick myself up from the sitting stool and sneak to his side.

Sneaking into his room to get the tutoring sessions never made me so conscious and hyper aware until my feelings began to surge and I was hyperventilating after I finally put a name to my feelings. Over the time, I've managed to stifle the thoughts yet it lingers anyhow.

Avoiding making any sound and keeping my clumsy ass diligent, my knees lower softly on the ground by his side. My gaze grabs the opportunity to ensnare the sight of him, so calm and serene, an embodiment of homely aura as a person, a safe abode, to treasure the memory to cling on for the future I'm dreading.

What is in him that makes my heart so obstinate to continue loving him overlooking the undeniable heartbreak ?

Falling in love with him wasn't in my hands, but continuing loving was a choice and not at the same time. Like the untamed winds or the unruly clouds. Present to be felt, to be acknowledged though never in the control of our reigns.

I like the way he cares for me, treats me, makes me feel capable of achieving anything I desire and awakens the sense of worth. And if at some point he stops, if I woke up to a day where he treats me as nothing more than his dead butler's daughter even then I will still find myself in love with him.

He isn't obligated to do all these and despite not being a girl who will beg a man to treat her in a certain way, my love isn't obligatory for a certain reason. He treats me well and my heart flutters. But my flutters even at the thought of him. It flutters more with a small glimpse of him. And it's always all set to explode whenever bestowed with the vicinity of his presence. Because that's how much ensnared I'm under his spell- a spell so unbinding and ineffaceable.

Seemingly having a brain of their own, my hand reaches out in his direction as my fingers bask in the softness of the tendrils gracing his forehead.

Touching him even if it's innocent, feels wrong since I've got no right. And in broad daylight when he would be awake, that would even strip me of the courage to do so. Might as well destroy everything, even if it's inevitable, right away.

My action freezes, a chill wrecking throughout when his eyes open suddenly, golden skies meet the rooted soils.

Ohh mother earth, just swallow me. Please!