Something Wicked This Way Comes

Chapter 46

"Do you think they're worried about us?"

Douxie hummed, drawing Carter closer to him, kissing the back of his neck. "Maybe a little, but I think they know us well enough by now. They definitely know our boning habits at this point."

Carter chuckled, wrapping Douxie's arms tighter around his chest and shoulders. "I missed you."

Douxie's lips quirked in a small little smirk. He tilted his head forward, nipping at Carter's ear. "I know. I was worried about you."

Carter turned his head to look at him. "No, I mean... I missed you. This. Us."

Douxie mouthed an 'oh', gently kissing his temple. "Are you ready to tell me why you were so distant on the ship and sub?"

Carter sighed, turning over again. "I don't..."

"Carter," Douxie whispered, tail wrapping around Carter's leg. "Please. You can't get mad at me for not telling you about my fae blood, and then omit important information about yourself."

Carter's jaw twitched as he grit his teeth. After a moment, he let out a sigh and nodded. "Okay."

Douxie settled behind him again, waiting.

It took him a few more moments to gather his thoughts before he spoke.

"Harley told me... that the longer the quest took, the less time I spent devoted to it, the more... um, drained my soul would get." He paused there for a moment, swallowing thickly. "So, even though I can't actually die yet, I'm still... I'm still—" he cut himself off with a sharp breath.

Douxie tightened his grip on Carter to ground him. "Love, I'm listening."

Carter sucked in a breath. "Douxie, I'm... I'm dying."

Whatever he thought Carter was going to say, it definitely wasn't that. He felt the breath tear from his lungs, heart pounding. He bolted upright, head spinning.

Carter slowly followed suit, looking like he was in physical pain. Now that there were sitting up and facing each other, Douxie could see his face was much more pale and gaunt than it had been an hour ago. The dark eye bags, the sunken cheeks. Douxie was suddenly reminded of how Carter's mother had looked in those weeks before she'd died. Carter was often compared to his mother, but this was not something Douxie wanted him to be in comparison of.

"Is this what you meant when you told me you weren't going home?" Douxie asked, voice shaking heavier than he wanted it to.

Carter nodded, absently rubbing at the scar on his throat with his flesh hand. "Yeah."

His voice was suddenly hoarse and tired.

Douxie took in a sharp breath, trying to calm himself down. "What um... why did you do this, then?"

He, of course, meant willingly having sex with Douxie with absolutely no regard for his own personal well-being. Now, of all times. If Carter had told him all this before, Douxie would have never—

Carter met his gaze. He seemed so far away from Douxie all of a sudden, even though they were close enough for Douxie to reach out and kiss him. It was the look in his eyes. The barely contained pain, the way he was physically drawn in, shoulders tight. "Because..."

Douxie turned to face him, cupping his cheek gently. "Because why? Why would you do that to yourself?"

Carter took in a deep, shaking breath. "Because I love you. I love you, and I want to be with you. I hate... I— I hate feeling like I have to put my life on hold for them all the damn time."