Nightmares and Reality

Chapter 1- Pain

 

Have you ever felt so alone? Ever felt so hurt, used, destroyed that you feel you just can’t take it anymore? No one will believe you. They all think you’re mad. You pull out that sharp, striking blade of yours. You breathe in- slowly- and grasp the blade tighter.  (Everything feels wrong, I just don’t belong here) You squeeze your eyes tightly shut to find a single tear run down your cheek. (Why isn’t he there for me when I need him the most?) You bring the blade closer to your skin and prepare yourself. You jump when you feel someone’s presence behind you. He breathes down your neck, making all of the hairs on your body rise. “Don’t do this.” He whispers into your ear. You ignore him and slice the blade across your skin and hold in your cry of pain. He wraps his arms around you and holds both of your wrists, pushing them away from each other. “Stop.” He whispers, the strain in his voice is clear, making you know he cares. “I can-“

“You CAN.” He pushes his body closer to yours. You shiver at his touch.

“Why now, Tom?” You have to force the question out of yourself. Your tears taint your vision.

“I-” He hesitates. “What do you mean?”

“Why is it now that you’re showing you care? Where are you when I need you the most?”

“Amy, I’ve always been here for you and always will-“

You cut him off and anger pulses through your veins, “When have you ever been there for me? I told you what I saw in the woods was real... You think I’m mad. Why do you think I would make something like that up? I have lost my own father because of this. He’s real tom. I know it. He’s always there.”

“Amy... I... Listen to me-“ He faces you and holds your face in his hands, wiping away the tears. “He isn’t real; it’s in your mind. There’s no such thing as ghosts.” He kisses your blood covered wrist.

“But he isn’t a ghost.”

He puts both of his hands back to your face, but this time holds it tighter. “Then WHAT, Amy? What is he?” He raises his voice slightly.

“Tom, you don’t understand.”

“So how can I help you?”

“You can’t.” The two words that pass your lips anger him.

“Where do you see him?” He demands an answer.

“In the woods.” You say, barely a whisper. “Always.”

“Take me to him.”

“No.” You say abruptly.

“WHY?” He stares deep into your eyes.

“It’s too dangerous.”

“I don’t care. Amy, I love you.” Tears spring to his eyes. Never in your life have you ever seen Tom cry- or anything close to that. He pulls you into his warm embrace and holds you there. Tightly.

“You really want to see him?” You step back, out of his embrace.

“Yes.” He nods, his mop of blue hair falling in his eyes.

“Okay.” You breathe.

What have you done?