The Frog and The Beast

The Beast Chapter 16

You could say that Jellal and bonded over the course of the next week, all thanks to Nathaniel's credit card. Our first purchases were books—after all, I was determined to be a serious student now. We selected school textbooks, but I also made sure to include novels, along with Braille versions for Jellal. It was fascinating to watch him read with his hands, completely absorbed in the stories. We even splurged on some furniture and a satellite radio for Jellal's room. He initially protested about spending so much, but his objections were half-hearted at best.

The first book we ever read together was Victor Hugo's 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame.' Naturally, he chose it—after all, it tells the story of a hideous man confined within a grand, eerie estate. Jellal said it wasn't a jab at me; it just happened to be one of his all-time favorites. At first, I was reluctant to dive into it, not only because it echoed my own dismal new reality, but also because it was dauntingly long. I don't think even the Bible has that many pages!

After I explained Kagura's curse to Jellal and how to break it, he insisted that I read that book. He believed that if I wanted to experience love, I needed to grasp the deep agony and longing that comes with romance—or something along those lines. Honestly, he must have been a huge target in high school with ideas like that. Still, with nothing better on my plate, I decided to give the book a shot.

Hours and days went by. Turns out I liked reading. The characters were interesting and I found myself eager to see how their stories unfolded—especially those of Quasimodo and Esmeralda. I was convinced that the book would conclude with them getting together, but I was completely mistaken. The ending was terrible, a real let down.

"This is one of the worst books I've ever read," I told Jellal. "Why do you like it?"

"Because it perfectly illustrates the reality of true love," he replied. "Love is wonderful, but it's also tragic. It's filled with joy and sorrow. Love means risking heartbreak and sacrificing your own happiness for someone else. Take Quasimodo and Esmeralda, for example. She never returned his feelings, yet he did everything he could to protect her and make her happy. He endured rejection and suffered the pain of watching the woman he loved admire a man who didn't care for her at all. But his love for her made that pain seem insignificant."

"But don't you think that's kind of... well, pathetic?"

"No, because I've been in love, but you haven't, so of course you can't understand."

"Did the woman you loved reject you for some jerk who didn't deserve her?"

"Well, she never rejected me for another man, but she did turn me down countless times. Still, I always returned to her, professing my love and vowing to keep doing so until she changed her mind."

"Um... isn't that kind of creepy? And wrong?"

"Only if she didn't love me. But she did. She claimed she didn't, but I knew that was a lie. I told her that if she would just tell me the real reason for her refusal, I would leave her alone. But she kept repeating the same lie, so I kept coming back. I can handle rejection, but I would at least like to be respected enough to know the truth behind it."

"And what was her real reason?"

"That's not important right now. What matters is that if you truly want to fall in love, you need to learn about it—not just the feelings, but the different perspectives, sufferings, and pains that people experience."

"And why is that?"

"Because you can't love someone until you have love in your heart, and that comes from two things: compassion and empathy, which you seem to lack."

Oh God, this was going to be a long lesson.

I found myself buried in a mountain of books, we tackled the classics: "The Phantom of the Opera," "Great Expectations," and "Wuthering Heights." and while I appreciated the intricate plots and the emotional depth of the characters, I still didn't understand exactly what Jellal was trying to teach me. I was frustrated, wondering how these tragic romances could possibly relate to my experiences—or lack thereof.

But it turns out he wasn't trying to teach me about lost love, he was trying to help me have empathy for someone. Then one day, when I was lost in thought, I stumbled upon Ur, sitting alone in a quiet corner of the library. Her eyes were red and puffy, and I could see that she had been crying.

"Hey, Ur," he said softly. "Are you alright?"

Ur looked up, surprised by my presence.

"Oh Gray! I didn't know you were still here." She wiped her face.

I had never seen her cry before. She always seemed so strong.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked her.

After a moment of hesitation, she nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe I should."

She took a deep breath, her hands trembling slightly as she spoke. "It's my daughter Ultear. About a year ago, she was in a car accident on her way to visit me from college. It left her in a coma, and today the hospital called me... they're considering taking her off life support because my insurance can't afford it any longer."

So that's why it always felt as though Ur's daughter didn't exist—why there were no phone calls, letters, or visits. It was because she had been in a coma.

"Everyone else has lost hope, but I know in my heart that Ultear will wake up. I can feel it. She wants to live, and I can't give up on her. My husband left us when she was just a baby, and my parents are no longer here. Ultear is all I have left."

I vividly recall the day I accused Ur of fabricating a daughter just to elicit sympathy. In that moment, I became more ashamed and disgusted with myself than I had ever been. Ur wasn't just the housekeeper; she had been like a mother to me ever since my parents passed away. She didn't just serve me; she cared for me and loved me when my uncle wouldn't, all while her own daughter suffered in a hospital. Even now, as I resembled a hideous monster, she continued to look after me. Yet, for the past eleven years, I had treated her terribly.

For those same eleven years, I had mistreated everyone who ever really loved me. I abandoned Natsu, treated Ur like a servant, and disrespected the memory of my parents. And for what? To impress some asshole relative who never gave a damn about me? Kagura didn't turn me into a beast; I had done that to myself long ago. She merely made me look the part.

"I'm sorry," I said to Ur, my voice trembling.

"It is what it is, Gray. These things happen," she replied.

"No, I mean I'm truly sorry for what I said about your daughter. Remember? I said that you probably made her up. I shouldn't have said that. I'm also sorry for how I've treated you all these years. I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you in my life."

"It's alright, Gray. I've already forgiven you for all of that."

"But how can you forgive me? I treated you worse than a dog."

"Because you understand what you did wrong, and you don't want to repeat it. That's enough for me."

"No, it's not! You should hate me! In fact, you shouldn't even stay here with me anymore! Why don't you just leave?! I wouldn't forgive anyone who treated me the way I treated you! So why would you forgive me?!"

"Because I love you, Gray. I always have, and I always will."

My heart felt like it was being crushed, and tears began to stream down my face. Ur knelt beside me, wrapping her arms around me in a warm embrace.

"It's alright, it's alright," she whispered softly. "I'm here. I'll always be here when you need me."

She was so warm.