All Too Well - Erik Menendez

Ghost Of You

Beverly Hills. CA. 1988.

Eriks POV:

My body is completely frozen. I can't look away from her, I can't move my legs to walk away, all I want to do is hold her tightly, apologise for everything I've done and beg for her forgiveness. My words abandon me as I can't reach for them.

"Please just get out!" Her hands push harshly again on my chest. I grab her wrists, trying to pull her closer to me; she resists so I immediately let go.
"Don't touch me anymore!" She looks at me, up and down in pure disgust. No longer is her eyes the soft and loving ones that I'm used to.

"Can you let me explain everything, p-please?"

"No, you're a cheater and a liar. And you bring the guy you've been cheating on me with into my house?!"

I feel Craigs hand grab onto my forearm. "Erik, let's go." His voice is lifeless and his touch is cold. I pull my arm from his grip.

Don't touch me, you've done that enough.

"Please can I talk to you alone?" I wipe the tears that almost drip from my eyelids. Desperately holding my pieces together.

"About what? What possibly is there to talk about? You know what you've done!"

"Everything. Please. Just five minutes." I close the far distance between us, she backs up. Fleeing from me like I'm contaminated.

She sighs, desperately trying to speedily wipe her away rushing tears, the tears I want nothing more than to kiss away. Another droplet that falls is another ping of guilt that surely destroys me.

"You!" Her eyes direct towards Craig. "Get out!"

I look in his direction and physically see the annoyance on his face, I prepare for the pushback but thankfully none is coming. "I'll be outside, Erik". His words are snarky before he leaves the gardens.

His absence makes me think clearer, but seeing her stand before me; so broken; so destroyed. Because of me, it's a scarring type of pain I feel. An anger, a resentment, towards myself that makes me hypocritical for even shedding a tear. I've done this. I've brought this pain upon us all by myself.

"You don't deserve it, but y-you have five minutes." She mutters through her soft sobs, her eyes are entirely bloodshot red as she furiously wipes at her face with her sleeve.

I can't keep my fingers from my mouth. My anxiety forces me to ravish myself, I feel my world changing before my eyes and the hopelessness to fix what I've created utterly consumes me.

"D-Do you remember the first date night that I didn't show up f-for?"

A slight nod is her response.

I inhale shapely, attempting to crawl through the embarrassment, the humiliation, the pain.

"I was broken that time afterwards, when you came round mine and we argued. L-Lyle had left so drastically and my father was-" I attempt to blink away the heavy tears. Her cold stare makes this even harder as I just can't read her mind. Shes assessing me; for truth, for lies. For who I really am.

"He was m-making my life a nightmare. I was so broken. I was having such d-dark thoughts that I didn't want to have, thoughts that scared me and I felt them getting out of control." I wipe my face vigorously with my hand.

"So I went to C-Craig. I just wanted him to be there for me because I had nobody else to turn to. But he was still angry over everything, he said he wouldn't let me stay unless I - did things to him".
Her eyes subtly grow horrified. Her eyebrows furrow ever so slightly as the truth stings through the air.