Holy holy I be fucking hating myself, I want to write and then I don't write and when I do write I don't want to! LIKE MAKE UP YOUR MIND YOU BRAIN DEAD FUCK!
I really REAALLLY am fed up with myself, like I want to write something unique but then I look to others works for any idea for what I should write or how to, and then on instinct I just say fuck it! and start writing a different version or rewriting the chapter!
And then When I write for too long I start having self doubt! EVEN WHEN I SHOULDN'T! I HAVE IT ALL PLANNED OUT IN MY HEAD! I KNOW HOW I SHOULD WRITE IT AND THEN JUST DON'T! LIKE FOR FUCKS SAKE!
LET ME WRITE, BODY! I feel like I'm fighting myself dude.
My body feels so hollow. Like the only thing I feel like its there is my shoulders, shoulder blades, spine, head, thighs, calves, feet, forearm, hands and thats it! My chest doesn't feel like it exists, same with my pelvis! It feels as if though I'm some sort of puppet on strings.
Its to the point I want to bash my brains against a wall so I can be fucking done with it! And fuck off away from my waste of a body, just so I don't have to deal with it anymore.
I want to be creative but it feels like I can't, I want to write a story based on Ben 10 then I feel like I fucked it up even though I'm one chapter in! Its. Just so pathetic man.
And I don't think I have depression. Its just pure good ol self deprecation. I want to disappear man.
YOU ARE READING
The Inhuman ( Ben 10 x Male OC )
Fanfiction'Jen10' or 'Jennifer Kirby Tennyson' the champion of the Omniverse, the one who has saved the universe innumerable times, the greatest force for good to ever exist in her time. Until a influence from beyond the Omniverse decides to drop off a littl...
