The Twelth Player

Chapter 15

Thursdays are usually one of those days when I wish there were more hours in the day. Work first, then practice. Most of the time, the hustle gets on my nerves, but today felt different. After our cup win, I heard scouts from first-league teams were coming to watch the next match. The first league. My goal. The place I've been working toward all these years. For so long, it felt out of reach, but now... now it felt possible. Ironically, just when I'd stopped caring so much about it.

At practice, I pushed harder than usual. Every sprint was at max effort, every touch on the ball as serious as if it were the Champions League final. I didn't want to waste my chance.

After practice, I headed to Hansi. I wanted to brag a little, maybe hear some praise. Something like, *"Keep it up, Matti. You're killing it."* But Hansi was... well, Hansi. He just nodded like everything I'd said was totally expected.

"That's good news," he said. "You've been putting in the work. It shows."

It sounded almost like a compliment, but then he added, "But you know, Matti, football—and life in general—it's not just about getting to the first league, winning trophies, or being famous. It's about what you have here," he tapped his chest, "and here," he gestured toward the rest of the team on the field. "You could have a shelf full of trophies, but if you don't have people standing by you, that joy won't be real."

I just stared at him. What the hell was he talking about? That I should be satisfied with where I am? My whole life's been about moving forward. What am I supposed to have *here*? Felsenstadion? This is just a stepping stone... or at least I thought so.

"Yeah, sure," I mumbled finally. His words stuck in my head, even if I didn't fully get them yet.

---

The locker room was its usual post-practice chaos. The guys were joking around, someone was blasting music from their phone. I was sitting on the bench when Timo asked, "Hey Matti, you going to see Katie and Elina today? Like always?"

I froze. "No, my brother's going today."

"What?" Timo, halfway into his jacket, stopped and stared at me. "Lately you've been picking up your niece just to have an excuse to see that girl. What happened?"

"She pissed me off," I muttered. "She looks like crap—like a zombie. And now she's taken another job at the supermarket. I offered to help her out, do something, but she turned me down every time. And then yesterday, she told me she doesn't need anyone to save her. It pissed me off, so I told her if she wants to play the hero, she can deal with it herself."

The room went quiet. Markus stopped tying his shoes, and Timo crossed his arms.

"Seriously?" Timo said. "The girl says something you don't want to hear, and you run off like a little kid?"

"What? That's not fair! She acts like I'm some annoying bug when all I'm trying to do is help."

Markus sighed. "Matti, Eli's stubborn, but do you have to be just as stubborn? From what you've told us, you've been kind of harsh to her sometimes. But she never threw it back at you. Never insulted you, never bailed on you. And now she snapped at you once, and you ran off? Doesn't that seem a bit hypocritical?"

Taro sat down next to me. "She trusted you, even if it didn't seem like it lately. And you let her down? Told her she's wasting your time? Do you even realize what words like that mean to someone like her?"

"I just wanted to..." I stopped. Wanted to what, exactly?

Taro stared me down. "You wanted to help her. The way she helped you. Since you've known her, you've been a better person. But you weren't patient enough. That's why you said what you did, about wasting time. But it came out like you were calling *her* a waste of time."