GOODNIGHT or GOODBYE

Five

I know, the first thing that would come to your mind is that you think I was going to die, but that's not it. If I were dead, you won't be reading this now. I wasn't going to die that night or the next night or the night after that. I would live to a ripe old age.

But that was also the first thing that came to every other person's thought in my house that night, including me. But then my father picked up his bible and read 1 Thessalonians 4:13-17 to us. He explained to us of how when those who live in Christ, in accordance with His words, who have accepted Him as Lord and Saviour die, only sleep as they sleep in Christ and would on the day the trumpet sounds, would rise and all meet in heaven and there would be rejoicing.

It was then that everyone understood what Father was talking about. At that point, it was like I came to a realization of all that I have been hearing since I was a child, all my mother had been saying to us, all that I had read in the bible, they all seemed so real, so alive, so true, I could see my sins place out right before my very eyes like I was watching a movie in a cinema and I knew then that I was filthy, filled with sin, unclean and dirty and I began to weep.

As I began to weep, I began to feel hot, it was like something was burning, like the house was on fire and it was gradually coming to the sitting room, but my siblings all seemed like they were not as hot as I was, they just all bowed their heads and began to pray. It felt like I was then covered up in flames, like my bones were being fried and my skin barbecued.

I could see and feel the reality of the gnashing of teeth and the furnace of fire. I could feel it all. I cried and wept and asked how I could be saved. My sins kept flashing before my eyes, all the alcohol, the drugs, the sex, the deceit. I thought I was a Christian, I grew up in a christian home, but at that time, all my good deeds, all my goodness, couldn't save me. I cried out for Jesus.

My mother always said He was a Deliverer and a very present help in time of need, I asked Him to please save me, to deliver me, that I had been a good person, that He couldn't possibly deny that fact, but there was nothing, no one to deliver me, no one to help me, not even the Jesus mother had so preciously spoken about.

Then I became angry, I got so angry with my mother, with my father, with my siblings, I was angry that they all lied to me about Jesus, they all told me things that once again were untrue. As i wept and my anger swelled, I felt a cool touch on my shoulder, I looked up and saw my father.