Mother, Him and An Ex Lover

Mother and Him

"Be careful with her heart. It's more fragile than you think"

Those are the last words I heard Haley say as I walk her and Sam out.
I asked Sam and Haley for this time alone with Dean.
I gave Sam the keys to the Impala for a few hours. Haley had told me a couple of weeks ago about their Sunday night ice cream dates and today is a Sunday night.
I need to do this. Not just to get closer to Dean but so I could finally move on.
Dean has repeatedly asked me about my life in New York. My life before Jenny Glass took me in.
All he knows is what he's seen and what I've told him. Which is about my stepfather, Frank Smith.
He's the reason Haley's sister died and the reason she stopped hunting. The Glass sisters were like the sisters I never had and Frank took Ariana away from us. And for those reasons I will never forgive Frank.
Then months later, Frank kidnapped me, taking me to an abandoned warehouse in the middle of nowhere, strapping me to a bomb. Leading Haley and I meeting the Winchesters (also stealing the Impala and getting arrested. But it t was Haley's fault, she did hot wire the damn thing after all)

After putting off this conversation for so long the time is now.
That's how we ended up here, sitting at the table in the bunker, a cold 6 pack between us.
I planned how this conversation would go. Or at least my part. Dean opened the beers and handed me mine as we took our seats across from each other.
I decided to start the conversation with my mother. And from what I know and seen of Dean Winchester he won't like this discussion.

I take a deep breath and a big gulp of beer and begin.
"It was always just my mother and I before Frank came into the picture.
She was a hunter, more than that she was a drunk. And when drunk, a mother was the last thing she was. I tried to hate my mother.
I tried to hate her for leaving me alone with my stepfather.
I tried to hate her for beating me so badly she broke my arm twice.
I tried to hate her for pushing me over the sail railing, watching me fall and lay unconscious until Haley found me and called 911; the way she pretended to care when I was in a coma for over a week, she never even bothered to visit. She'd get updates from Jenny or Haley.
I tried to hate her every time she chose my stepfather over and over again.
I tried to hate my mother for so long and it has done nothing but make my life miserable, so I walked away.

And in that time, Haley became my anchor.
She was able to pull me back when things got too dark, just as I in turn, helped her.
While I still have my mother, as horrible as she may be Haley has only an aunt and a deadbeat father. Her aunt raised her. Her aunt raised all of us. She taught us that sometimes family isn't the people you were born with. Sometimes it's the people you choose, the people who choose you. So that's what we did. We chose each other, even if we were together from the moment we were born.

And then Haley accidently killed Ariana because of Frank, even then Haley put me first. She made sure I was okay. We hunted--okay I hunted, she threw herself into research, learning everything she could about anything and everything supernatural and non-supernatural. Haley was already broken from her twin sisters death a couple of years prior and by the time Ariana died she was 10 different kinds of broken."

I stop speaking long enough to finish the beer in front of me and Dean downs the rest of his before putting his down and retrieving 2 more from the box, opening mine before handing it to me.
Once settled I begin again, "my mom constantly reminded me that people like us don't get the love of our lives, we don't get the kids, the house, the dog or the white picket fence. We don't get the happy endings.
But Jenny changed that for me... She had all of that and more... She took me in.. Gave me a family, a home. She was the mother that Haley and her sisters and I never really had.
I haven't spoken to my mother in months. I know she's alive and hunting and doing well because Haley keeps tabs on her and Frank, who's now someone in a San Diego mental hospital, which is the best thing for him"
"How'd you do it"? Dean finally asked
"Do what"? I ask
"How'd you carry on? How did you keep fighting"?
"Simple. I've had someone to fight for me since the moment we met" And it was that simple, I had Jenny and Haley and back then, her sisters and now we have the Winchesters.